Day of the Dead

 Day of the Dead by Gina Hyams
2001
Weight: 12 oz
Method of Disposal: Lending Library

We are fast approaching Dia de los Muertos, which I love learning about, even as I worry about cultural appropriation, the more and more you find skulls and skeletons lining the big box stores.  This book was given to me as part of a Day of the Dead box with an altar and skeleton back when I was in high school...so, exactly what I am talking about, potentially.  

The way I was raised to think of death was as an eternal goodbye, a devastating blow, an open casket, people sharing stories of the dead at a funeral, whether they knew them or not.  There are spreads of Southern Comfort food--potato salad, mashed potatoes, macaroni, cakes--once the funeral is over.  After that day of mourning, we do not do much more as a family.  In private, you can grieve.  I think, maybe once, as a family, we visited the grave of a loved one some years after their funeral, briefly, on the way to some other family event.  People are separated by heaven and hell or there is nothing after death, depending on who you are with.  Since I came out at 13, I have been assured that hell is where my soul will be by some and others have given no thought to it at all.

What I do know for sure is that death makes me worried, upset, confused, overwhelmed easily and fast.  I guess we celebrate lives and living in our own ways, but I love the idea of this holiday.  A day when the lives of those who have died are celebrated and the distance between the living and the dead is not so far away.  The strong family ties and the history all spun up into a colorful, fun, rich, sugary celebration.  From the outside, it looks so beautiful and seems so healthy.  

The more Dia de los Muertos becomes more common place in the US, the more I keep my distance and observe.  Uncomfortable with the conflation of it with Halloween, and the mass production of products made to sell for profit.  Costumes, barbies, action figures, movies, on and on.  I do feel like, from afar, it still has much to teach me though, and I appreciate it.