It Chooses You

It Chooses You by Miranda July with photographs by Brigitte Sire 2011
No One Belongs Here More Than You. Stories by Miranda July 2007
Weight: 2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating

I have packed a small box of books for the move that are kept separate from the rest.  They are the ones I may never get rid of.  It is fair that I keep one box, right?  In that box there is another copy of It Chooses You that was autographed by Miranda July.  "You" is crossed out and "Laura" is written above it.  My dear friend, Liz, bought it for me and mailed in to me in a care package.  I was so delighted and moved to get it in the mail, unexpectedly.  Of course, I was also super jealous that she had the chance to meet Miranda July.  Like adolescent jealousy.  I have been smitten with Miranda July since my other dear friend, Sarah, introduced me to her cds when I was still in high school.  Her work was a large part of my entirely awkward senior thesis in College.  I even recorded my own tapes of me telling my own short stories in July fashion.  I cannot believe I was not institutionalized.  

Another copy of No One Belongs Here More Than You is also in the box.  My creative writing adviser, Dermont, gave it to me as a graduation gift and wrote a wonderful note to me inside of it.  I might be more smitten with Dermont than I am July and so it is one of my most prized possessions. 

Both of the copies I am now passing on came to me from Sarah and were the ones I read before I got the other copies.  I am infinitely grateful to her for introducing me to July and for continuing to nourish it through gift giving.  I am sure these two will find good home--with titles like that who could resist?  I want to believe that both titles say something about who I am in this moment and that is why I decided to get rid of them tonight.  Really, July is just a really good cheerleader via naming things and a really unique writer/artist/filmmaker to boot.

James and the Giant Peach

James and the Giant Peach  Roald Dahl
1961
Weight: 4 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving in a Book Lending Box

Does anyone understand dreaming and magic like Roald Dahl?  It is difficult to get rid of any of his books because of the way that just thinking about them makes me feel.  So many childhoods have been influenced and changed by his books and the movies created because of them, mine included.  Unfortunately, I cannot only get rid of books I hate.  If I do that, I will still have hundreds and my goal will never be achieved.

Lately, I am prone to daydreaming and feel like I am living in a reality that is slightly askew and slightly magical.  The pleasure is so intense it creates a tinge of pain.  The kind that is best mates with longing.  How could I be so lucky?  The kind of luck that might get you killed.  I am driving in my car, living in a dream, and have no idea, when I get to Point B, what happened to the time I spent getting away from Point A.  The kind of luck that makes you forget to open a door before you walk through it.  My memories are interlaced with my fantasies.  My perception of time has no bearing on man made clocks.  I can no longer find myself in words.  Modern dance seems to be the only working mirror I can find.  I watch, slack jawed, while others move through this ethereal place.  I don't know how to dance.  Just dream.  This is what it feels like to be smitten.