El Camino A Cristo

 El Camino A Cristo by Elena G. De White
2002
Weight: 2.2 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

I was alone, on a road trip, when I stopped at a rural, dark gas station.  A stack of these books were being given away outside the bathrooms.  I remember the feeling of freedom, the slight fear of being alone at night on the road, and the anticipation of seeing and experiencing new things.  I was younger, my eyesight was better, and I had little to no fear of death.  

I do not know what this book actually says anymore, but I remember how I was feeling when I picked it up.  I see that some other folks have given it really positive reviews on Amazon.  Maybe another grandmother somewhere will cherish this book as much as one other woman's did.  I am pretty sure it missed the mark with me, and I likely should never have taken it.  Maybe there was a reason though.  After all these years, it may make it to the right person.  Someone who is interested in finding their way to Christ.

Giselle's Bucket List

Giselle's Bucket List by Lauren Fern Watt
2017
Weight: 1 lb
Method of Disposal: Lending library at a shelter

This ended up being my beach read in Sanibel because I had absolutely no time for reading, and this is something you can fall in and out of easily.  It reads quickly and is full of pictures of an incredible and sweet mastiff, Gizelle.  The author is a young, confused woman who is trying to figure out her place and meaning in the world--I can still relate to that, and I am just under ten years older than her!

 I am only slightly kidding.  I remember being 25 years old and being desperate for meaning and answers.  It was very frightening and it all felt so urgent.  I only made it through because of my dogs (and ultimately meeting my wife).  It is a scary age to own a pet because a lot of 25 year olds cannot afford the medical bills or know what it takes to truly commit to a dog for life, but I believe it is a time when many people would benefit from having a pet.  Lauren clearly did.

I, of course, cried when Lauren had to say goodbye to Gizelle and could absolutely empathize with her.  My heart broke.  6 years is definitely not long enough.  I am glad Gizelle had Lauren and her family and friends though.

I don't know that this book had a real trajectory.  The author tried to use the bucket list as the glue that bound it all together, but the bucket list did not really seem to be the big, powerful thing.  It seemed like she tried to fit the list into the book instead of the list driving the book.  I think, like in life, she was confused about what to do with herself, her feelings, and her grief and so she wrote a book.  I think she did a good job for where she is at in life, though it did not speak to me as much as it might have when I was younger.  I can still remember and relate. 

I also appreciated her sharing the difficulties she faces loving an addict/her mom.  That was heavy and sad and something else the author was trying to make sense of.  Her honesty in and of itself was helpful, and you could see the love shine through the sadness and frustration in her acknowledgements at the end of the book.  This book is not going to teach most people anything, including the author, but it is a sweet love letter to the dog Lauren adored so deeply and a good peek into what it feels like to be twenty something and not know what you are doing with your life, relationships, and career.

Marilyn Monroe and the Camera

Marilyn Monroe and the Camera
2000
Weight: 3 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating

Marilyn Monroe reminds me of my first love as a teenager.  Marilyn's movies were also one of the first things that my stepmother and I bonded over in the early years of her relationship with my dad--to my mother's dismay.  I can now see why your daughter beginning to idolize Marilyn Monroe after you took such care to teach her about Boudica, Joan of Arc, and Anne Frank might be a little worrisome.

Mostly it was Heather M.'s fault.  She wanted to be Marilyn despite always coloring her hair a copper red color and keeping it super short in a way that was not yet popular at our school.  Her grandmother said she looked like a "polished penny."  When I think of Marilyn I think of diamonds, flirting, Jane Russell, ridiculous men, Jane and Marilyn singing about coming from the wrong side of the tracks, Harry Winston, medication, Kennedy, insecurity, youth, beauty, Heather, and my step mother.  When I think of Heather I think of how amazing and horrendous first love is, eating disorders, doc martins, red hair, a light purple room in a trailer, a bizarre and unhealthy family, lots of sex, letters upon letters, the viciousness of teenagers, the cruelty of teachers and guidance counselors, flirting, coming from the wrong side of the tracks, ridiculous men, insecurity, youth, and beauty.  It is weird how much I cannot and do not remember now, but how I have such vivid images of the ages 13-16 years.

So, sometimes, when I look at Marilyn I just think about excitement and happiness.  I do not necessarily go into the intricate details.  I just smile and don't really know why or think about it much--like I am now.  And so, though many would argue she is my antithesis, I still really like Marilyn Monroe.  I am still really sad for her and all the insecure girls and women desperately seeking out attention even when it ends in their own demise.  So much like Heather at 13 and like first love.