Smoothies

Little Books for Cooks: Smoothies by Jane Stacey
2000
Weight: .8oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

I began working, illegally, at the age of 12.  I worked at a smoothie shop.  I will withhold the name of the company, as my boss was a pedophile with a theft problem and no one knew.  He was a bad egg but it was not the company's fault.  Luckily, the worst he ever did to us was to rub my best friend's ears, and his wife frequently propositioned me and tried to get me to go home with them.  I always said no and never felt bad about it.  It was not violent and not even why I call him a pedophile.  I call him that because, after leaving that job for the bookstore, someone found the police record.  I guess we were lucky.

Despite all of that, we loved working there and had a lot of fun and a lot of freedom--because, as I said, our manager was awful.  We ran that place.  He was almost never there.  We closed the store down at night, we opened it, and we were there for all inspections.  We have so many stories.  We were also able to barter smoothies for Arby's fries, cookies, and free piercings from the attractive woman at Claire's I would write poetry to, and she would blush. 

My friend purchased me this book after I left to my new job selling books. When you pressed the button a man would exclaim, "Deeelicious!"  We found this hysterical for some reason.  I am fairly certain that, if I make it to 80 or 90 years old, I will be able to hear that voice clear as day.  It is burned into my memory.

Coral Reefs

Coral Reefs: Exploring the World Below  by Joseph Wallace

Photographs by Waterhouse

1995

Weight: 1.4 lbs

Method of Disposal: Donation

It is that time of the year again.  All of the volunteers are returning from their vacations and coming to help us at the shelter, which is great and only slightly depressing because they come with stories about all the exciting things they have done and sun tans to prove it.  It makes me crave salt water and sand, waterfalls and rivers, villas and unusual flora/fauna.  I am still doing the same thing I do year round.  I see a few brave cardinals around the shelter and a thousand clueless blue-tailed lizards.  I see pine trees and poison ivy.  I see the same twelve people almost every day of my life and, despite how wonderful it all is, I would really REALLY like to get away.  These things should not be so unattainable.  Unfortunately, you need money to take time off work.  One day?

If that day ever comes I want to go diving—in a careful way, without destroying things—and then spend all day at the beach reading, writing, laughing, drinking, doing whatever the hell I want. 

Last year I did get the chance to go to Colorado for a whirlwind 3 day trip complete with a 4 am trip to the airport.  I looked all over for wildlife.  I thought I would see a moose, if not the bear and the fox he had seen a month before.  I didn’t  but apparently, while I was gone, a deer wandering onto shelter property and caused quite the ruckus.