Sexscopes

Sexscopes: How to Seduce, Stimulate, and Satisfy Any Sign  by Stuart Hazleton
2001
Weight: 9 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

This was left behind by my ex-girlfriend (a Leo) long ago.  I (a Leo) thought I had already given it away, but it appears that I have not.  The woman I am with now is a cusp so it makes it less obvious but, according to this, if she leans towards Cancer we are set for bliss, but if she leans towards Leo we are screwed. 

I chose to lean towards bliss.

There is an inconsistency though.  If you read it from her sign it goes like this:

SEXUAL SYNERGY
Leo and Cancer: leo's sunny attitude in the sack keeps Cancer guessing, but since Leo sticks by those he or she loves the crab won't need to worry about a Sagittarian-style stray.  Cancer shows Leo love and radiates the possessive nature kitty cats desire.  Meanwhile, Leo presents Cancer with a myriad sexual situations--and positions!  Paradise found.

BUT WILL IT LAST?
Leo and Cancer: Once Cancer can get used to Leo's over-the-top attitude, all signals are definitely go in this awesome mix.  Cancer's intuition enables him or her to say all the right things to compliment proud but needy Leo, while Leo will do anything to protect the easily wounded sign of the crab.


Then, if you read it from my angle it goes like this:

SEXUAL SYNERGY
Cancer and Leo: Your odds for headboard-banging hedonism are about fifty/fifty when you pair the sign of the crab with the sign of the lion.  Leo likes Cancer's constant attention but Leo's anything-goes attitude and need to be worshipped in the sack grate on Cancer's nerves.  Probably not a good long-term option but an awesome emergency booty call.

BUT WILL IT LAST?
Both of you believe in true love but you have varied definitions on what true love means.  For Leo, love is a parade--something to be celebrated in parties and public alike.  For Cancer, romance is far more personal.  The idea of exposing their inner soul to anyone other than their mate is the anathema to the sign of the crab.  Compromise is key to making this perilous passion work.  If Leo takes two steps back while Cancer steps forward, you'll be a totally content couple.


Hmmm, well, I guess only time, not stars, will tell.


According to the front of the book, "Thank your lucky libido Sexscopes has arrived.  More fun than an inflatable doll, more titillating than a pair of tight jeans--open this book and get ready for a good time." --Matthew "Dr. Matt" Abergel, author of Work Your Stars and Gay Stars
 

Journal of Material Culture

Journal of Material Culture Vol 1, No 2 and 3  Sage Publicationss
1996
Weight: 1.5 lbs
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

These are strange things for someone like me to own.  Clearly a remnant of college, I am STILL reluctant to get rid of them.  It is not everyday you stumble across an article like , "Commodifying Affection, Authority and Gender in the Everyday Objects of Japan."  I am not even sure you could find it, as a non-academic, if you were looking.  What about "Don't Tell Dear': The Material od Tampons and Napkins?" Okay, that one might be easier.  Well, if you ARE looking right now then head to Joe's.  They are on the book cart.
 

Thing of Beauty

Thing of Beauty: The Tragedy of Supermodel Gia  by Stephen Fried
1994
Weight: 8.2 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

I came to Gia, like many lesbians people of my age did, through the film in which Angelina Jolie starred.  It is the movie that made me lust for Angie above all others for years, and it is the movie that made me buy a book about a supermodel (something I never would have done).  The sexiness of Angelina and the queer love story snagged me, but the human pain and struggle would have stuck with me no matter what.  The book showed a far more disturbing underbelly to the fashion industry and the young fans of the industry than the movie but, though I hate to admit it, I mostly remember Angelina kicking in a window, desperate for someone to love her, being abusive (though I did not recognize it then as that--though I knew it wasn't good) to the beautiful Linda.  I remember Gia's pain, Linda's turmoil, the drugs, the misunderstandings, the family.

It was absolutely a movie a high schooler would love.  I say that, but I am not trying to take away from the adult pain...just recognizing the obvious.
 

The Actor's Book of Contemporary Stage Monologues

The Actor's Book of Contemporary Stage Monologues: More Than 150 Monologues from More Than 70 Playwrights  Edited by Nina Shengold
1987
Weight: 1.3 lbs
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's at EAV

Another book of monologues...I wanted to be an actress before I wanted to be a writer.  That was so long ago.  During the transition from one to the other, I would read monologues out loud with other book obsessed friends, and we just enjoyed taking on different voices and personalities.  We thought it might even help us with character development within our own writing but, if it didn't, no pressure.  It was all in good fun.

I still think of you, Kristal McKenzie.
 

Amazing Young Adult Fiction

Holes  Louis Sachar 2000
Maniac Magee  Jerry Spinelli 1990
Weight: 12 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

Maniac Magee was one of my favorite books growing up, and I do not think it was only because it was also one of my brother's favorites at the time, though that is why I read it to begin with.  It is about a homeless teenager who becomes a legend.  He is amazing and also mysterious.  He has no home, but he has many talents and one of them is finding the good in people and making friends in spite of societal pressures.  This book deals with what family is and how it is not always just the people you are born to, race relations, and what "home" entails.  It has been a very long time since I have read this book so I cannot tell you how well done it is, but I do remember being quite moved as a child.  Maniac Magee was someone you wish you knew, someone you would like to be like, and he is an outlier.

Holes was written almost a decade later and was turned into a movie.  It is about a boy who is forced to dig holes, among other demeaning things, in an all boys detention center.  This is another book that is written about an outcast who is also a hero and someone to look up to, despite his troubled past. 

Have I mentioned that I love Young Adult fiction?  I am happy to think of these books being on summer reading lists and hopeful that they will encourage kids to enjoy reading.