The Silent Boy

 The Silent Boy by Lois Lowry

2003

Weight: 5.6 oz

Method of Disposal: Recycling (unfortunately)

This is another book that is in such poor shape that I cannot donate it.  The truth is that it was already falling apart when I came into possession of it, and it has only grown worse with each move.  I did want to read it before letting it go though so it was the last book I read in my time off after surgery.

It was a very sad book.  Not the whole time you are reading it, though from the beginning you know the ending will be tragic.  You just do not know how yet.  The tragedy of this book is not some shocking, never heard it before, cannot imagine it happening sort of thing, but something that feels much more common and, maybe because of that, even heavier.  

The book is told from the point of view of a 9 year old girl and much of it is about her feelings and thoughts about a misunderstood boy, who would now likely be diagnosed with autism, but at the time was just seen as different, and even scary to many people in the town.  Though the people that actually knew him knew that he was very gentle.  You could tell by how he loved animals and they loved him.  I cannot say much more without spoiling the book.  Ultimately, I think the author was giving us a snapshot into what it was like for girls and women, for people with autism, for people in different class systems, and for people in general at the turn of the 20th century.  As always, when looking at history, there are moments of nostalgia and plenty of good things happening, but some things can seem unnecessarily bleak due to the customs and beliefs of the time.  It is still haunting in that those customs continue to shadow us today and are not completely gone.

Women and Aids

 Women and Aids by Jane Richardson
1988
Weight: 7 ounces
Method of Disposal: Donating

This book is extremely dated at this point, but it was interesting to read for so many reasons.  Living through the start of AIDS and the start of COVID would have been wildly different for so many reasons, but, having lived as an adult during the time of a pandemic, there are certain things I feel like I was more attuned to or attentive to now.  Not just the fear and the unknown, but the attempt and the struggle to manage people's reactions and to preserve a sense of humanity.  The constant reassurance that we can all still care for each other and that our fear should not make us react with hatred.  It should not make us ostracize sick people.  

Another thing I found interesting was reading this and knowing the strides we have made sense AIDS blew up on the scene in the 80's.  I could fill in some of the missing gaps in information and answer some questions.  Some things I had to Google, and I learned that way.  In other areas, I was sad to know that there were still so many things happening then that are still happening now.  The author was seemingly a compassionate person who recognized homophobia, racism, ethnocentrism, when possible, and that was much appreciated.

All in all, this was a quality book.  It was clearly more useful when it was written than it is now, but it is an excellent layout for how to write a sensitive, helpful guide on a virus that people do not know much about.

Tales from the Clit: A Female Experience of Pornography

Tales from the Clit: A Female Experience of Pornography edited by Cherie Matrix
2001
Weight: 6.4oz
Method of Disposal: Taking Suggestions!

Any suggestions on how to best ensure that books about sex, pornography, sex work make it into the hands of someone who wants them?  Let me know if you would like me to send this one to you! 

I reread this book this year, and it is definitely dated.  It was published in 1996 and is about the UK.  Some things aged really well and some did not.  I am sure there will still be readers who will relate heavily to some of the authors and their fantasies even now.  This book was a good source of personal essays about pornography, S/M, and censorship.  It does not delve into academic arguments for or against censorship.  It is really more based on feeling and personal pleasures, personal stories.  Some of the authors were arrested or had their homes torn up due to censorship. 

If you are exploring sex and sexuality, but are fairly new to the world beyond heteronormativity, this might be a good introduction still.

Far From the Madding Crowd

Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
Weight: 16 oz
Method of Disposal: Lending Library

My honey's mother bought me this book on her last visit.  I had read and loved Tess of the D'Urbervilles in college, but I have had lingering concern about being in a classroom of women who did not think Tess was raped.  I guess that later in my college career, I would be judged by my same peers in the same way.  I did not know that at the time.

We had been discussing what books I enjoyed reading, and she was asking me about British authors.  She agreed that Tess was incredibly sad, which is why she did not like it.  A few days later, before she left, she handed my Far From the Madding Crowd because I had not read it before.  She said it was not nearly as sad, and I guess it wasn't maybe.

As I read Thomas Hardy, I find myself believing that Mr. Hardy was a sympathizer of women, and that he saw the unfairness of their situation.  Sometimes, I wonder if he really, truly saw it or if he just wrote it how it was and still, all these years, later the truth shines through and now it is at a time where we can better see it.

Bathsheba was at times a frustrating character and made some dumb decisions that stood in stark contrast of her better ones, but she always just seemed young and not vicious.  I guess we are to be happy that Gabriel and Bathsheba ended up together, but I almost am not sure it was the true ending to this book.  I thought it was misery watching this young woman get pressured and misguided by two persistent men in her life.  I am surprised that by the time she had matured enough to be with a man she still liked a man at all.  And why did she seem like such a good business woman sometimes--she had to be to be a woman in that position--and the worst business woman ever--reacting to everything like a teenage girl? 

Any who, I love my honey's mom, and I love that she thinks of me and gives me such thoughtful gifts.  She is truly an artist.  She will just tell you that she is teaching me about the greatness of the Brits and maybe she is.

Right Stuff, Wrong Sex

Right Stuff, Wrong Sex: America's First Women in Space Program by Margaret A. Weitekamp
2005
Weight: 12 oz
Method of Disposal: Lending Library

This book was great.  The writing style was straight forward and factual so if you are not into history books this one will likely be a challenge for you, but the information inside of it is so important and so interesting.  How has NASA managed to exist my whole lifetime without me ever hearing about so many amazing women?  I keep having this moment.  Watching Hidden Figures, reading this book, reading Rocket Girl.  I had no idea.  I was enthralled with each woman described within this book.  I would get excited and try to remember every name and new detail so that I could share it later, but there was so much that I did not know, and I struggled to keep it all in my mind and accessible.  I think this is a great starting point to a lot more reading!

In other news, the old NASA joke that if women are ever allowed in space it will be because men have been approved to have 120 lbs of recreational equipment....not cool.  In another book I am reading currently (What Happened), Hillary Clinton talks about writing to NASA as a little girl.  She wrote to them to say that she wanted to be an astronaut.  They wrote her back that they do not have girl astronauts.  Who does that?  Even if it was true.  Crushes a kid's dreams like that.  I guess they were just trying to be honest, but come on NASA.  You have disappointed me in so many ways, but I am determined to love you.  The good news is that I bought this book in a NASA store at Cape Canaveral so I give them that.  They were not trying to hide this discouraging history.  Times truly have changed.

I have been reading about amazing and intelligent women who work so hard and are incredibly brilliant.  They have dedicated their whole lives to what they find inspiring and important and never end up achieving their ultimate goals.  I cannot help but think about how overwhelming the disappointment must have been when Jerrie Cobb realized she would never go to space.  The moment when Hillary realized she lost the chance to be the first woman President of the United States of America...and to a heartless buffoon that sexually assaults women.  I cannot think of anything more unfair, really.  To work so hard and watch the bull in a china shop trample his way through and to the top.  I think of Jill Tarter looking for extraterrestrial life and retiring with no proof that there is life out there.  It is so frustrating and, at first look, makes me sad.  Then, I think about all the amazing achievements these women did reach in their lifetimes and all of the people they influenced and touched--including someone who will become president, women astronauts that have been or are on their way to space, and the person that finally discovers and proves the existence of extraterrestrial life.  I think of all the people who are inspired by these women and make their way in other arenas with them in their thoughts.  I guess the cliche is true.  It is much more about the journey than the destination.  I hope that at some point I am able to look back on my life and feel that I used my passion to achieve something.  Of course, if I were really really lucky, I might look back and see that I achieved THE life goal.  I could be a Valentina Tereshkova and make it to space.

The Sexual Politics of Meat

The Sexual Politics of Meat: A Feminist-Vegetarian Critical Theory  Carol J. Adams
1990
Weight: 1.2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating

What a deliciously Agnes Scott type book.  The merging of feminism and vegetarianism.  I ate it up and still love it to this day.  I know I will not read it again.  I have read it several times.  I often think about parts of it when talking to people about animals, "meat," the power of words.  Sometimes I keep it to myself and sometimes I don't.  I know people don't always respond as positively or enthusiastically as I do.  I wish you could get someone who was not a vegetarian or feminist to read it, but that will not usually end in success.

Bluebeard

Bluebeard by Kurt Vonnegut
2009
Weight: 9.6 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

Another Vonnegut book to delight me!  And it did!  I appreciated the Vonnegut-ness, the humor, the title, the art commentary, and most of all the feminism.

Thank you Kurt Vonnegut for still being one of the most fantastic authors and always a delight to read, even when it gets so incredibly depressing!

In the Body of the World

In the Body of the World: A Memoir  by Eve Ensler
2013
Weight:8.8 oz
Method of Disposal: Lending Library

I first read The Vagina Monologues in high school, and I loved it.  I walked around reciting "My Angry Vagina" to anyone willing to listen.  In college, I had the chance to meet Eve Ensler and Jane Fonda in one of many Vagina Monologue productions I would go to see.  Attending an all women;s private school, I also began to see some of the more problematic sides of the Monologues and white western feminism.  I would speak to these too and would be guilty of my own mistakes throughout the years.

It did not stop me from going to Charis, our local feminist bookstore, to buy Necessary Targets and have it signed by her at a reading.  I was never again enthralled like I was in high school, but I also never completely lost touch. 

Imagine my surprise when I stumbled across this book at the Dollar Store of all places.  I thought maybe it would be terrible and had been banished to the dollar bin for a reason.  I was wrong.  I enjoyed it and thought Eve did what she does best.  She shows truth no matter how disgusting, vile, negative, hateful, wonderful, idiotic, perfect, exciting, personal it is.  She has been accused of being self-involved, but this is exactly what allows her to dig deep.  Self-involved walks a fine line with self-aware and is often misidentified.  People who attend to themselves, speak powerfully from their own experience, watch their own back, love themselves, care for themselves--particularly women--will be called selfish.  Taught that selfish is wrong.  Even when discussing their own battle with a very scary, very dirty disease like cancer.

I appreciate watching Eve Ensler grow and change in the world.  I may not idolize her in the way I did as a teenager, but I do not really idolize people like that anymore (unless you are Gillian Anderson--kidding, kidding) or think that they must get "it" right all the time and every time.  That they are not fallible.  Eve shows us she is imperfect and allows us to look closely at our imperfect selves too, but she always asks us to do more and to be more aware.  There is nothing wrong with that.

Mr. Popper's Penguins

Mr. Popper's Penguins by Richard and Florence Atwater
1992
Weight: 4.8 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

A pet penguin (that enjoys being a pet)--a dream come true.  This book is fun for that reason, but it is lacking in creativity and the old-fashioned gendering makes me want to toss it in the recycling bin.  It was written in a different time though.  A time when we could assure the reader several times that Mrs. Popper was a good housekeeper and would rather her husband not be around so she could keep the house cleaner.  We are also very aware of the fact that she will let her silly husband get away with anything, including turning their living room into an ice rink and also jumping on a ship and saying goodbye for 1-2 years on a whim while she raises the children.  Ahhhhhh...role models.  I was allowed to read this crap growing up?  I am pretty sure books like this one should only be read once someone has a crash course in women's studies 101, and I did not have that when I first read this book.
 

Forty Years of Creation

Yves Saint Laurent: 40 Years of Creation
Yves Saint Laurent (Author), Hady Sy (Author), Beatrice Dupire (Author), Marie-Joe Lepicard (Author), International Festival of Fashion Photography (Photographer)
1998
Weight: 3.2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Giving to Tracy for educational purposes at GSU

I am kinda a fashion guru, a style ninja, if you will so if there is a book on fashion to be had I have it.  That statement is a complete fabrication, and I have no idea why I have this book.  It was probably on sale, and I liked the photographs of women at some point.

Flipping through it now, I am horrified by a picture of a model sticking her head in an oven and a woman, laying on the outskirts of a city, with her throat slit multiple times.  I hate shit like that.  T took it and will be using it for psychology of women.  At least some good will come out of it, I suppose.

The Rover

The Rover Aphra Behn
1997
Weight: 5.8 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

 

I went to an all-women's school and Aphra Behn was on several of my syllabi.  I could never get into reading her work, but I could respect her immensely for doing it in a time when it would be difficult to get paid for being a writer, much less for being a woman writer.  As Virginia Woolf stated, Woolf wrote, "All women together, ought to let flowers fall upon the grave of Aphra Behn... for it was she who earned them the right to speak their minds."  Okay, I may not feel that strongly, but I imagine I have a lot of women's graves I need to be throwing flowers on.  So many before me.   

Diary of a Blue-Eyed Devil

Autobiography of a Blue-Eyed Devil: My Life and Times in a Racist, Imperialist Society

Inga Muscio

2005

Weight: 1 lb

Method of Disposal: Putting in a Better World Books Bin

I have finally finished the last Inga Muscio book I own.  After Cunt impressed me so much when I was around 16, I kept feeling like I needed to read her other work and kept collecting them as they came out, even though I had come to the realization that Cunt was much less mind blowing than I thought and a little more offensive.  If you have read my past blog, you know I was not enthralled with Rose.  I decided to read this one on the heels of that one so I could go ahead and just get rid of them.  It took me all month.

I will say that this one was much much better than Rose and even had snippets where I could get into her voice and what she was saying all over again.  I believe it is important for Americans to face the rampant racism and imperialism of our country.  I appreciate that she put so many provocative truths forward, but she continued to let me down.  For someone who thinks so much about discrimination, reclaiming and the power of words, and various isms she really seems to be lacking an understanding or a willingness to understand (dis)ability.  How are we still using “retard” three books in?  How is it that this book is the first one I remember seeing ability looked at in its own right, and each time it was brought up it was in a superficial or blase way, if not thrown out as an insult.  It would be so easy to fix!  

I am sure no one will be shocked, given that I work at an animal shelter in the South and see cruelty/neglect on a daily basis, that I was not all that thrilled with her tangent about companion animals and spay/neuter.  That is not to say that I think animals exist to be our pets and that I do not, also, have a problem with how we breed, abuse, dominate, and mistreat them.  I do not think, in an ideal world, we would have so many animals in homes and contained.  I do not think that if breeding were controlled and animals were treated with true humaness that we would have to spay/neuter them.  I can understand and empathize with the resistance to spay/neuter, but the benefits to the animals far outweigh the negative.  I think of the thousands of pit bulls on chains, euthanized, abused every day and cringe at the thought of making more that will suffer the same way their peers did.  I would rather spay one pit bull than watch their offspring starve to death, live in crowded shelter conditions waiting for death, get hit by cars, so on and so forth.  And this goes for all pets, but I use pit bulls because I love them so and they are the least adopted, most mistreated companion animal of all time.  Also, Inga Muscio has a friend who use to have to sleep with a gun and a PIT BULL every night because of living amongst gangs.

I like how she describes her love for America, as well as her dislike.  I appreciate that she took the time to lead the reader to see the beauty of this racist, imperialist country even while exposing gross injustice.

I do not like the stories about her blowing up on random strangers, like the woman on the plane who asked her what she was eating.   Inga is sure it was because the woman was white and the food did not fit into her worldview of normal.  I am not so sure.  Sometimes, I question her reason and her anger management.  A woman asking about some noodles got blown way out of proportion.  And, even if that was what was going on, couldn’t you find a better example of everyday racism?  Or educate the woman instead of confuse her? This book was way too long and contained way to many disconnected snippets.  I read the first 200 pages quickly and suffered through the redundancy and negativity of the last 300.

She has a good idea.  She says important things.  But it is always face value, and intentionally over-the-top-shock-value material.  She never achieves a tangible, well thought out, connected piece of work.  This is the last Inga book I will read, no matter how many more she writes.  I am sorry about that.  We have so much in common and so many interesting/useful differences, but I am done.  It has become overwhelming and reading is supposed to be fun/educational/helpful/inspirational/enraging/meaningful/something else.  I mean, I am supposed to feel something other than irritation, I think.

Side note:  I do not quite understand the idea of her choosing not to swim in the ocean, which she loves so much, because the ocean is so mistreated.  It talked to her and told her.  People do massive damage to the ocean and the planet, and we should be angry, but really, what does not swimming in the ocean do to help the situation really?  You will have to read the section for yourself.

Whores and Other Feminists

Whores and Other Feminists edited by Jill Nagle
1997
Weight: 12 oz
Method of Disposal: Selling



This book was much better than my last attempt to read about feminism and the sex industry. I started reading this book about 4 years ago, on a plane going to Chicago, and I finally finished it about 4 months ago. The second time I picked it up I could not put it down. I have been very reluctant to get rid of it. There were definitely segments of the book that I found less than impressive and some that really irritated me but, for the most part, I was smitten. I still want so much more, but I recommend that you put this on your reading list, amongst others. There isn’t enough written on the topic by people in the industry, but the genre seems to be growing all the time. Side note: I am still sad you are gone, Spread Magazine.
I will break the book down as quickly as possible. After the preface, introduction, and acknowledgements you are put into the world of the peep show and how it feels for one woman to work within it. Then, you meet a feminist who loves to write pornographic stories. The third piece is Cosi Fabian describing why she is “proud—and happy—to be called ‘whore’” (53). Ann Renee has a short piece about wanting “to fuck the world.” Nina Hartley writes about porn and the adult entertainment industry. She talks to us about her exploration of sex and how important having a good sex life can be. She is an adventurer and a teacher. Annie Sprinkle offers a valuable and short chapter on how to fight of sex worker burn out syndrome.

And then we are on to part 2, and it just gets better. This section gets more into a larger-scale portrait of sex work. It gets into the structures, legal, social, and in pop culture. In “Love for Sale” Eve Pendleton writes, accurately, that “sex workers provide a powerful indictment of gender roles by demanding payment for playing them: feminism would be transformed and strengthened by incorporating this analysis” (81). I also agree with Priscilla Alexander who writes, “I believe as long as women are arrested for the crime of being sexually assertive, for standing on the street without a socially acceptable purpose or a male chaperone, I am not free” (84).

The 3rd section is dedicated to “reversal, subversion, and re-vision.” We get to read about male prostitution, BDSM, feminist pornography, the Mustang Ranch, and a butch Gigolette with a wonderful guide to “negotiating your desires.” One of my least favorite pieces was contained in part 3, and it was about the Mustang Ranch. Some things about it rubbed me the wrong way. Monet always wanted to go to the Ranch and so one day a boyfriend brought her. The women at the Ranch were less than welcoming. First, she expresses disappointment that they had to choose from women who were o.k. with a couple, and she “wondered why didn’t get to pick girl from the traditional lineup” (168). She later states that she wishes she could have been treated like a male customer and mentions the lineup again saying she couldn’t take part in the usual “just because some of the girls think eating pussy is gross” (168). She realized “homophobia was alive and well in the desert” (168). Then she talks about wanting to rescue the woman she eventually has her fantasy with. Luckily, that need to rescue is later turned into a need to educate and gain sex worker’s rights. She realizes that sex work is worth everything you might be asked to spend, and she values the experience. The last paragraph of the essay is great. The stuff before it is frustrating. I believe she ran into homophobia at the Ranch, but I think it is perfectly acceptable for a woman not to want to have sex with other women and to claim that as a boundary she is not willing to cross. We should all have a say in who we sleep with so I did not understand her level of irritation and the idea of rescuing disturbed me, but she immediately recovered from that. Overall, I got very little from this particular essay.

The 4th section is about “myth, stigma, and silence.” Stacy Reed exposes common myths about strip clubs and strippers. She writes that she was safer at the clubs than in her own home (186). A fat sex phone operator talks about how she worries about the political implications of what she does and admits to acting thinner over the phone, but she also writes that "Sex work has taught me that I own my body. It has taught me that sex is a choice. That work is a choice. That what is attractive about me is not a lie. That telling stories gives me power. (190). She says, "Sex work is like real life. Only straighter. And thinner" (190). And, ultimately, therein lies the problem with sex work. It is not better than the rest of the world. It is a part of it. Sexism, racism, ableism become a part of it because they are a part of larger society. Sex work and pornography do not create those problems, but they can be infiltrated by them--just like everything else.

Then we hear from a sex-positive dike writer. That is followed by a discussion about women of color in sex work, which exposes the racism that is not escaped by working in a “fringe” job. 6 women have a discussion about what it is like to work in the industry, and they are all from different backgrounds and have different experiences. In chapter 22, an ex-LAPD officer left her job after 10 years and becomes involved with sex work. She was burnt out and horrified by the abuses she saw other officers committing, some officers were even busted having sex with minors as young as 10 years old (213). After becoming a call girl, she would get arrested and experience the fear of being detained first hand. She was working on a book to expose the abuses within the LAPD, and that made a lot of people unhappy with her. She ends her essay with this statement, “I am one prostitute that no one and nothing can silence—not eighteen months in prison, not the women of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women, not an apathetic media, and certainly not the police!” (216). I, for one, am glad to hear it.

The 4th section ends with another piece by Monet where she describes being outside of the industry and then inside of it. She talks about the importance of words. Specifically, “slut” and “whore.” She writes, “If we as feminists use these words to stigmatize some women—any women—then we are part of the problem. We must embrace these labels or we will continue to be controlled by them. One need not be a sex worker to experience being a bad girl; one can simply refuse to wear the label of the good girl, and let people assume she is sexually experienced, forward, and promiscuous, even if she is not” (222). Agreed.

The final section is on “Activism, Intervention, and Alliance.” The Scarlet Harlot tells us about her invention of the term “sex work.” Lyndall Maccowan interviews Denise Turner about organizing and worker demands in a massage parlor. We are then led into the scary world of Men Against Pornography and what it means to be a sex-positive male feminist. Teri Goodson writes about being a part of NOW despite the stigma that surrounds sex work in the organization and Siobhan Brooks writes about racism at the lusty lady, a petition, and her push for change. Joan Kennedy Taylor discusses the Sex Wars and a woman’s right to pornography.

All of this is followed by an appendix of “organizations for sex worker support, advocacy, education, and professional advancement” (259). It is dated information, and I could not find all of the groups that were listed. I was particularly sad about not being able to track down the Atlanta based group. Plenty of the groups are still around though, so you should take a look and find other, new ones. As you can tell, with this break down, this book covers a lot of ground in under 300 pages. It is well worth your time. There is a lot to learn!

There is so much talk, lately, about sex trafficking and child slavery. Movies, books, sting/bust shows, radio interviews, and new legislation can be found at every turn. It is important to protect children from being kidnapped and sold for sex. That is one of the more deplorable things you hear about, and it must be combated. But let’s make sure we do not conflate that issue with the adult, consensual, selling of sex. The sex industry is an umbrella for all types of people and all sorts of work. It is complicated, but the one thing we know is that people need more protections and more respect. We also know that sex workers are human beings, with lives, friends, and family members. They are not separate entities who deserve abuse, arrest, and contempt.

Check out this shit:

http://colorlines.com/archives/2011/03/federal_civil_rights_suit_challenges_louisianas_felony_sex_work_law.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+racewireblog+%28ColorLines%29

Let’s do something about it. Any ideas?

Sex My Studies Up

Jane Sexes It Up: True Confessions of Feminist Desire Edited by Merri Lisa Johnson
2002
Weight: 15 oz
Method of Disposal: Giving to my friend Tracy



Feminism and Sexuality are two topics that I believe cannot be discussed separately. They come up a lot in conversation. People struggle to grapple with the two together, but there is no other option. I feel comfortable in the many layers of possibility enveloped in the blanket terms, feminism and sexuality. I consider myself pro-sex, whatever that really means. I love talking about sex, reading about it, discovering new things, enjoying new experiences. I am a huge fan of sex toys, sex talks, porn, and people having the right to provide sex work while maintaining their safety and respect.

I often have to think and then re-think my defense of porn and/or sex work. It is a strange and blurry area. The Feminist Sex Wars have been written about a lot, and I have respected women on both sides of the pro/anti-porn debate. I spent a good deal of my college-life studying Catherine MacKinnon, loving her and disagreeing with her all the way (she did convince me to become a vegetarian). I am fluent in Pat Califia. Dworkin holds a special place in a crevice of my heart. I cannot possibly forget my past desire to follow in the footsteps of Susie Bright or, hell, even Sue Johanson. I’m not picky. I just want to talk to people about how incredible and versatile sex can be.

Recently, discussion about porn, sex work, and human rights has been renewed in my life. I find myself with some of the same questions I thought I had already answered and some news answers that question the ideas I had once fully developed. I am uncomfortable in some of my beliefs again, and I am more confident than ever in others. I am confused. This is not an unusual feeling, but it has been awhile. I am excited to rake it all over again and give it another look-see. It is an ongoing conversation I am having with Tracy that has me re-reading a large stack of books on feminism and sexuality. I am going to pass the stack onto her when I am finished because I think she has her own confusion—different than my own in many ways, though there are overlaps. This is the first book in the stack.

As per usual, I had high hopes for Jane Sexes it Up, but I wasn’t overly impressed. I also don’t think it helped me work out any answers for all of my questions. I found myself periodically checking the publication date to make sure it was really written after the year 2000. If it had been in the late 80’s I might have been more enthused. I felt too young for the essays, but too uncomfortable with my potential ageism to admit it right away. It all felt so dated to me.

“Fuck You and Your Untouchable Face” consistently quotes one of my favorite Ani Difranco songs--when I was in high school. I still love me some Difranco, but it felt weird. I appreciate the author’s honesty and openness, and I respect a good conversation about queering heterosexuality. I just didn’t learn anything, and I don’t know what she meant when she used the words “queering heterosexuality.” There was too much reservation in “Of the Flesh and Fancy: Spanking and the Single Girl.” And who judges spanking anymore? I know people do, but I am not around those people much so I forget. And what is wrong with the word “flog” or “flogging?” I like a good flogging from time to time, and I like that it is not dainty.

I did like “Liquid Fire: Female Ejaculation and Fast Feminism.” That might have been the best essay. I wasn’t anxious to leave it. I wanted to follow her through the sex club, and she was a good leader. I liked her sexual openness and how she subtly showed how you can maintain control of your body and your consent in a building with many sexual partners with a simple word or sentence if everyone respects each other. It doesn’t have to “take you out of the moment,” and everyone can maintain their hunger. The lessons on ejaculating were enlightening, and the author seemed confident.

“Scrutiny and The Female Porn Scholar” and “Pearl Necklace” had so much potential, but they quickly became some of my least favorite portions of the book. “Pearl Necklace” had me. I was so onboard with the masturbation, the ejaculation, the bath tub water turning cold, the rape fantasies, but she lost me somewhere in all her rape language. She defended it with her so whats, I like its, and who cares. Are those even a defense? Could you try just a little? I am all about rape fantasy, forceful sex, role playing, BDSM, and so on and so forth, but consent is my #1. And I don’t mean just saying “no” if something is unwelcome. Where was the discussion about consent, safety, consideration, and respect? “A Cock of One’s Own: Getting a Firm Grip on Feminist Sexual Power” was an essay I could not relate to but could see vague outlines of in my memory. I cannot remember the last time I spoke with someone who was anti-dildo, but I have girlfriends of friends of friends who are anti-dildo. I know they are out there. I have read about them in letters and in this essay, but I don’t see a lot of it in my sexual partners.

Maybe I am just super-sexed. I mean, maybe I hoped something would shock me, compel me, maybe even turn me on but nothing did. Worst of all, I don’t think I learned anything and the book came nowhere near helping me with my new prostitution and porn dilemma. I guess I didn’t know what Vulvodynia was before, and I do now. I thank Kantinka for sharing her story with me and all of us. I am not sure it gave me a good pro-porn argument, but I am glad I read it. It gave a good reason for why one might watch porn, but I can think of 100 of those. I need more good reasons for why people make porn-- other than money. A subversion of the patriarchy, playing with the strict rules of society, promoting sexual fun and play, helping others in their exploration of sexuality, pure enjoyment, just a job, what? Where do all these reasons fit into the dominant porn industry? Is it fair to look at “mainstream” porn and judge all porn? It seems that (at least in a capitalist society) the big rigs always have some fucked up idea of morality and the small, little independents struggle to stay alive. I don’t know what the answer is. Maybe we just need to be more responsible about how we purchase sex. Is there a Conscience Consumer list out there for the sex industry? Can anyone help? Do you have any book recommendations? I have many more books to come, Whores and Other Feminists being the next.

Clit Notes

Clit Notes: A Sapphic Sampler by Holly Hughes
1996
Weight: 10.4 oz
Method of Disposal: It is up for grabs if you want it, but I will be recycling it on Wed. if I cannot find any takers.
*Pictures are from one of my journals I wrote in from the same time period as my reading of this book*





I have been awful about updating this blog in the last couple weeks. I lost a dear friend—a beautiful shelter dog with an exceptional personality and have been unable to focus on much else. I am going to try to get it back on track here, and I appreciate anyone who is sticking with me.

Today, I am ridding myself of Clit Notes. I became obsessed with books about vaginas, clits, cunts, and all the variaous associated components when I was a teenager. The Vagina Monologues started it off and then I ran with it. I worked at a small bookstore, and I would search those words and order whichever books seemed to fit. I will never forget being called after I quit my job because my special order, Anal Pleasures had arrived. As you can probably already guess, we were an open-minded and close-knit group at that store and it was not overly strange that I ordered those books at work. I wanted to be a sexologist, and I got a discount on information there.

At the time, I thought the title Clit Notes was pretty fantastic and hilarious. I was very excited about it, and even more disappointed when I was finally able to read it. I hated it. I see that it has great reviews on Amazon, and Ms. Magazine has quite the quote on the back. Maybe I was too young and it went over my head, but I have no desire to return to it. I found other fantastic books like the Clitoral Truth , Woman: An Intimate Biography, and Tales From the Clit. Now, I feel differently about the whole thing. I still like a lot about all those books, but I do not like to focus on genitalia being what makes the woman. They all seem so gynocentric (which I hate now) and too exclusive. They would all do best in a home with someone who has an understanding of gender identity and the problems with gender and sex dichotomies. They would like to reside next to books about all sorts of bodies, and maybe even some books on pleasure and sexuality. Are you the right family for this homeless book? Please let me know before Wed.