Loves Executioner

Loves Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy  by Irvin D. Yalom, M.D.
1990
Weight: 8 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

When I first read the prologue to this book I was horrified by some of the things the author said.  The number one thing that sticks out in my mind was when he wrote about being repulsed by a fat woman who was his patient and was not sure he could offer her therapy.  I immediately closed the book and called my mom, who I assumed had read it and possibly passed it on to me.  She encouraged me to keep reading it and told me it would all be worth it.  I did, and I am glad I did.

I valued the author's insight into death and human reactions to death.  It is something I think about far more often than I would like to.  He mentions that death anxiety is often at its greatest when someone does not feel they are living the life they should be.  Amen to that.  I have noticed it.

He also writes about various patients he had, his hang-ups, and how he learned a lot about himself and his style of psychotherapy through working with them.  Some of the people he had the most difficult times with taught him the most, and often he became very close to them by the time their sessions were up.  I have to say, I would still hate to read about myself in one of his books!  It would be horrifying and embarrassing to me, even if my case was useful to him and to those who might learn from this book.  I go back to that fat woman.  Even reading it myself gave me anxieties about my weight and what professionals may be thinking about my body, much less what they might publish later.  He does come around with her, and she does (thank god) call him out by acknowledging how he treated her in the early sessions before she lost weight.  He does have an attitude adjustment while working with her, and her life does seem greatly improved by the end of the chapter.

There is a lot packed into this book, and it is insightful for a variety of reasons.  It is not without its problems, but I appreciate the author being able to lay himself out there in all of his glory, fuck-ups, strengths, and weaknesses.  I do believe I would recommend it to others, even 23 years after this edition was published.

How Can I forgive You?

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To Janis A. Spring

2005

Weight: 1 lb

Method of Disposal: Leaving somewhere

I am willing to bet that this book would have been helpful if I had read it when I bought it. I cannot remember now, but I am sure I bought it when I had a certain person in mind that I wanted to forgive. I did not feel as involved or motivated to read it, as I probably did then, when I picked it up a week ago, but I persevered. I was not entirely impressed, but I think I probably did some latent learning. I have a built in resistance to self help books so this is likely more a commentary on me than on the book itself. The author uses a lot of very helpful real life examples and, while a lot of them focus on adultery, there are plenty dealing with parent/child conflicts, sexual abuse situations, and even one dealing with a therapist/client relationship. I was particularly impressed by this last relationship. The client confronted the therapist about the hurt she endured working with him, and he wrote her back with a thoughtful and helpful response. This was so new and unique to me. I believe in therapy, and I have heard about/experienced a lot of bad therapy sessions and good ones. I have never heard about someone confronting their therapist years later and getting an insightful and helpful response. It made me feel good about people and about counseling and about forgiveness. I appreciated that diversity and it encouraged me to delve into myself, my history and my present situation, to think about how I forgive and how I accept forgiveness. Who I have forgiven, who has forgiven me, and who I have yet to forgive. It is only in instances of trauma that I feel I have not yet been able to forgive. The author allows that freedom but also puts forth some ideas about how to go about dealing with that pain/yearning if I wanted to. It also made me think of who I need to apologize to and how I might go about apologizing in the future. That cannot be bad, right?

ALSO, I did learn that there is a Forgiveness Institute. I never knew. http://www.internationalforgiveness.com/

DSM-IV

Diagnostics and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fourth Edition

1994

Weight: 3.4 lbs

Method of Disposal: Recycle

It is too bad this book is in such rough shape.  The front cover is torn off completely.  The back cover is a scratched up mess, and the pages are stained.  I have no idea what it went through all these years.   This book has probably lived through more than I have in its 17 years.  Damn.  17 years.  

This was my mother’s book before it was mine.  She bought it used when she went back to college after the divorce.  After she graduated, I inherited it.  I use to like to flip through it and read pages at random.  It seemed like it held so much insight.  I, of course, learned about a variety of problems with it when I went to college myself.  I was in a serious relationship with a psychology major and now two of my close friends study within the field.  I am surrounded by them.  What does that mean?

The book is officially outdated, and I am finally going to retire it.  Recycle it.

Textbook Bundle/Borders Closing

Abnormal Psychology in a Changing World by Nevid, Rathus, and Greene
Globe Literature by Globe Book Company
Gilbert’s Living With Art by Mark Gelten
An Introduction to Modern Philosophy: Examining the Human Condition by Castell and Borchert
Paso a Paso 1 by Scott Foresman
Weight: 17 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating or giving away

I have chosen this collection of books for a variety of reasons, the main one being that all together they are very heavy. I chose them, by weight, out of guilt. See, the thing is, well, Borders is going out of business, and I got an e-mail today saying that everything was 60-80% off. I thought I would just drop by to say good b ye to the big ol’ beast. I’m getting rid of all my books so there would be no reason to buy more. Maybe I could get some stationary or a journal. And, all of the sudden, I left with 4.5 lbs of books, despite myself. Don’t worry, I will give them away too. They were just so cheap, and I was overcome. I was not thinking clearly, I guess. I know I should have just gone to the library but…
The Great Penguin Rescue: ( Come on!—inserted by me) 40,000 Penguins, a Devestating Oil Spill, and the Inspiring Story of the World’s Largest Animal Rescue. How could I resist the world’s largest rescue of my favorite animal or a fiction book acclaimed by Deb Olin Unferth?

Whatever. I do not need to justify myself any further.

A very brief history of the textbook bundle:
I have carried around Abnormal Psychology since I went off to college. It was one of my mom’s old textbooks. Globe literature must have come from a garage sale, but it looks like a book you would use in middle school. Living with Art has a three dollar sticker on it, but I do not know if I bought it or if it came from someone else. Paso a Paso is from high school. It was the book used in the Spanish Classes. It was the school’s property, but I am not the one who stole it. I inherited it. I took Français anyway. The Modern Philosophy book was found outside of a professor’s office at NC State in Raleigh. It was free to a good home and so I took it. I was visiting Tracy, and I lugged it all around town and then back home.

Another reason am letting these books go is because it is September 1st, and I am 29 days away from taking the GRE. My brain is on ridiculous standardized testing and on whether or not I will ever get up the courage to go to grad school. Where would I even go? It seemed appropriate to choose scholastic books. I will be much lighter now and that much closer to leaving for school again?