Loves Executioner

Loves Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy  by Irvin D. Yalom, M.D.
1990
Weight: 8 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

When I first read the prologue to this book I was horrified by some of the things the author said.  The number one thing that sticks out in my mind was when he wrote about being repulsed by a fat woman who was his patient and was not sure he could offer her therapy.  I immediately closed the book and called my mom, who I assumed had read it and possibly passed it on to me.  She encouraged me to keep reading it and told me it would all be worth it.  I did, and I am glad I did.

I valued the author's insight into death and human reactions to death.  It is something I think about far more often than I would like to.  He mentions that death anxiety is often at its greatest when someone does not feel they are living the life they should be.  Amen to that.  I have noticed it.

He also writes about various patients he had, his hang-ups, and how he learned a lot about himself and his style of psychotherapy through working with them.  Some of the people he had the most difficult times with taught him the most, and often he became very close to them by the time their sessions were up.  I have to say, I would still hate to read about myself in one of his books!  It would be horrifying and embarrassing to me, even if my case was useful to him and to those who might learn from this book.  I go back to that fat woman.  Even reading it myself gave me anxieties about my weight and what professionals may be thinking about my body, much less what they might publish later.  He does come around with her, and she does (thank god) call him out by acknowledging how he treated her in the early sessions before she lost weight.  He does have an attitude adjustment while working with her, and her life does seem greatly improved by the end of the chapter.

There is a lot packed into this book, and it is insightful for a variety of reasons.  It is not without its problems, but I appreciate the author being able to lay himself out there in all of his glory, fuck-ups, strengths, and weaknesses.  I do believe I would recommend it to others, even 23 years after this edition was published.

Bottled Up

Bottled Up  by Jaye Murray
2004
Weight: 4 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving in Decatur, GA

I just read this the other day because I was not feeling well and was laying around.  I wanted something easy and quick to read so I picked a teen lit book.  I thought it was pretty good.  I appreciated many components of it.  It was important to see how many positive influences Pip had to have and how a little luck also went a long way to setting him on the right track.  I appreciated that the adults were portrayed as people who didn't always know what the right thing to say or do was.  It could be an important read for many teenagers, whether they are going through something difficult or not.

It has rave reviews on Amazon and a lot of people praise the authentic teenage voice.  I am not going that far.  Particularly in the beginning, I had trouble believing in Tye-dye loving, drug using Pip.  I felt like the description of marijuana use was WAY over the top.  The portrait painted of the alcoholic father was good, but the portrait of the mother was really lacking.  It was an alright book.  I am afraid I will loss it soon to my declining memory.

How Can I forgive You?

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To Janis A. Spring

2005

Weight: 1 lb

Method of Disposal: Leaving somewhere

I am willing to bet that this book would have been helpful if I had read it when I bought it. I cannot remember now, but I am sure I bought it when I had a certain person in mind that I wanted to forgive. I did not feel as involved or motivated to read it, as I probably did then, when I picked it up a week ago, but I persevered. I was not entirely impressed, but I think I probably did some latent learning. I have a built in resistance to self help books so this is likely more a commentary on me than on the book itself. The author uses a lot of very helpful real life examples and, while a lot of them focus on adultery, there are plenty dealing with parent/child conflicts, sexual abuse situations, and even one dealing with a therapist/client relationship. I was particularly impressed by this last relationship. The client confronted the therapist about the hurt she endured working with him, and he wrote her back with a thoughtful and helpful response. This was so new and unique to me. I believe in therapy, and I have heard about/experienced a lot of bad therapy sessions and good ones. I have never heard about someone confronting their therapist years later and getting an insightful and helpful response. It made me feel good about people and about counseling and about forgiveness. I appreciated that diversity and it encouraged me to delve into myself, my history and my present situation, to think about how I forgive and how I accept forgiveness. Who I have forgiven, who has forgiven me, and who I have yet to forgive. It is only in instances of trauma that I feel I have not yet been able to forgive. The author allows that freedom but also puts forth some ideas about how to go about dealing with that pain/yearning if I wanted to. It also made me think of who I need to apologize to and how I might go about apologizing in the future. That cannot be bad, right?

ALSO, I did learn that there is a Forgiveness Institute. I never knew. http://www.internationalforgiveness.com/