Prayer Warriors

Prayer Warriors: The True Story of a Gay Son, his Fundamentalist Christian Family, and their Battle for his Soul by Stuart Howell Miller
2000
Weight: 8.8 oz
Method of Disposal: Lending Library

This book was an easy and quick read though, of course, it is never "easy" to stomach the homophobia and cruelty put forth by someone's family to their own son.  It was easy only in that it was very conversational, was made up of basic language, was fairly short.  The author would randomly throw out a joke with his audience that would pull me out of the story very suddenly, and I would actually say out loud, "what?" and then reread the sentence to be sure it was there.  These little snippets were usually overtly "gay" and felt unnecessary. Of course, Stuart's family often came out with the more seriously off the wall shit.  Here is an exchange where both of them do from page 144:

"Troy retold the story of how an electric fence nearly killed my sister when she was a child and then said, "The lifestyle you have chosen is more dangerous than death by electric shocking.  God loves you Stuart.  Please do not spit in his face with this homosexual lifestyle you have chosen for yourself.' 

I immediately ran outside and searched for a pretty girl to marry, but the closest I could find in West Hollywood was a drunken, gravel-voiced drag queen. 'I don't want to marry,' she said, 'I like my freedom.'"

What?

The author was clearly very involved in the L.A. Community and has a very impressive resume.  I had hoped that would make it easier to find out how he was doing 18 years later.  I do not really need another book, though this one was a basically good read, but I would love an article about if his family ever came around, and/or if he managed to hold up okay. 

I also think this book would have been more powerful to me had I read it when it was first published.  So much has changed since then--not to say these things still do not happen--because they do, but I had less access to information and community then.  A lot of us did.  I was more isolated, though I was not completely alone like some folks in generations before me, and I would have held this account more closely.  At 32, I have read many many stories about white, gay men struggling with conservative christian families.  I have also, of course, read many more violent coming out stories.  Maybe that is the larger thing here, I have read and heard thousands of coming out stories and, while I know they are important, I am not as keen on seeking them out and reading them as I use to be.  Any who, I wish the best for Stuart, and I appreciate him sharing his story.  I think that, in the right hands, it could be a much more powerful book. 

I Am My Own Wife

I Am My Own Wife A Play by Doug Wright
2004
Weight: 5.4 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

The subject this play was based on was ridiculously interesting--so interesting that I would argue that Wright could not totally fail unless he were to totally attack and demean her.  That is something it sounds like he would never do.  He clearly found her enchanting.  Not that the language used is super transpositive, but he exuded respect and fascination. 

The subject is Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, a transwoman who managed to survive Nazi Germany and the Stasi.  Not only did she survive it, but she was able to maintain her identity and took some incredible risks to preserve history, to collect, and to do what she enjoyed most.  She owned and ran the Gründerzeit Museum.  In 1997 she moved to Sweden stating that Berlin was too dangerous, but she went back for a visit in 2002 and died of a heart attack in the city she called home for so long.

Now, tell me that in itself is not a story you want to know more about.  I am not sure I was as keen on the play as I was her, but I do imagine it was a hard one to write and to boil down to such few pages.

Unexpected Pleasures

Unexpected Pleasures: Leaving Heterosexuality for a Lesbian Life  by Tamsin Wilton
2002
Weight: 1.2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Leaving in Decatur, GA

This book was given to me by a woman who chose to leave heterosexuality behind while in college.  She was very vocal about it being her choice, which I thought/think was/is great.  There is some discussion about sexuality as choice in this book, which makes me happy.  It is not just nature vs nurture.  In case you were wondering, I think it is nature, nurture, and/or choice that makes someone's sexuality.  I think everyone has their unique mix up.  I believe I have always felt more intimate and bonded with women and that there is, possibly, a biological, hormonal, genetic cause.  I also know that if given the choice to be heterosexual I would say hell no.  I love loving women.  And, as I got older, I realized that if I felt compelled to I could choose to have sex with men, but I also knew I would never want a relationship with one.  I have never felt a strong bond with a man, with the exception of my high school best friend, Chris, and I was never sexually attracted to him.  I also just don't think I could deal with the outcome of male socialization.  I have no interest in a power struggle or a lack of communication/emotion.  I am aware that there are millions of sensitive, caring, feminist men out there that would probably make wonderful partners, but I do not want to sift through them all when I know I prefer women up front.  I would rather try to find a wonderfully sensitive, feminist woman.  And, while I was a lesbian long before my sexual assault, I do think that being raped will forever inhibit and decrease any interest I might have in being intimate with a man. 

That being said, I am frequently attracted to women whose sexuality is less defined and more fluid.  It is an incredibly sexy quality to have.  There is a certain courage and acceptance that seems to go along with it but, more importantly, I feel like these women have less rigid rules and unfortunate judgements/stereotypes about other women (and men),as a whole.  It is unfortunate that the lesbian community can be so naively dismissive and unaccepting of women with what might seem to them to be a less clear cut, defined sexuality.  I feel like it is getting better with the younger generation, but I still see it affecting women's lives in strong ways.  I was glad that this was discussed in this book.

Unexpected Pleasures is kind of like an intro too and a self-help book for women coming out as lesbians later in life.  I wish it had been slightly more fluid, but the woman who wrote it was a researcher and so I understand she had to narrow her focus.  I would like to read a similar book that included lesbian women who have come out as heterosexual later in life and lot more women who did not identify as one way or another.  There were some components like lesbian sex being better than heterosexual sex as a whole that rubbed me the wrong way, and I had so much I wanted to put forth to argue my points.  We do not have to tear down one to enjoy another.

Overall, though, it was a good introductory, supportive, positive book, and it relied heavily on actual interviews with women, which I appreciated.  I also liked the sources offered in the back of the book. The book was written based on British women's experiences and so the sources were geared to them too, though the author had a few US sources as well.

Geography Club

Geography Club by Brent Hartinger
2004
Weight: 6.4 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

I love young adult fiction, as you may know by now if you have read some of my other posts.  There is something that gets me even more wound up within the genre than your average story.  I get SO EXCITED to see new LGBTQI young adult fiction!  When I worked at the bookstore, I use to LOVE going through and scanning the young adult section to see what should be sent back to the publisher and what should stay.  I would be in a bad mood all week if someone got to it before me.  I liked being in control because I would, shamelessly, leave the gay/lesbian titles on the shelves longer than they were suppose to be and I could see all the new ones that came out.  I was allowed to "check out" the newer titles and would buy the cheap paperbacks.

Today has been a particularly emotional and important day to me and to many of my friends.  It has also been difficult because we know that, while the Supreme Court is finally dealing with same-sex marriage, we will not hear any decisions for some time, and we have no idea what will be decided.  The wait, hearing the anti-gay folks speak out so publically, watching our support groups grow more tight knit---it leaves one with a lot of emotions.  Here's to finding strength in each other!