Dykes on Dykes: The First Interactive Dyke-Cartoon

Dykes on Dykes: The First Interactive Dyke-Cartoon by Katrin Kremmler and coproduced with Indina Beuche
1998
Weight: 14 oz
Method of Disposal: Recycling

It really pains me to throw this one out.  That is why I have kept it so long despite the fact that it was used as a chew toy by some foster dog and whole mouth fulls have been torn out.  I will never forget that it was sent to me by my brother soon after he was married.  It was so lesbian and so something I would have been drawn to on my own.  I was more stunned than I probably should have been that my brother bought me something lesbian.  That he thought to do that. 

It is not that it would be difficult to know this about me--that I will watch or read all things lesbian/bisexual/queer/trans/etc.  That I crave it.  It is just not one of my fascinations that the family generally pays attention to when they are gift giving.  I cannot do my feelings and thoughts of that day justice.  Just know, that it meant a lot to me and I fully intending on keeping this book until the end of me, had my other passion (pups) not have interfered with that plan.
 

The Homo Handbook

The Homo Handbook: Getting in Touch with Your Inner Homo: A Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men  by Judy Carter
1996
Weight: 1 lb

This is a humor book that I am completely, and I am completely unsure how I came to be the owner of it.  A lot of it makes more sense in the 90's when it was published, but there are still some things that are so applicable it will make you laugh out loud.  Those moments are unexpected but nice.

 I read this book in the perfect way though.  I really do not think there is a better way than my way.  I had just started dating the woman I love, and she was in her first lesbian relationship.  She picked the book off the shelf and got into bed with me.  She might have shown more interest in this book than any other one I have seen her encounter before or sense.  We read it together and laughed and talked about stereotypes and truths and relationships and lesbians.  We actually were able to have a lot of serious conversations while flipping through this decidedly not serious little book, and we had a lot of fun doing it.  Who knew it would be so helpful?
 

Unexpected Pleasures

Unexpected Pleasures: Leaving Heterosexuality for a Lesbian Life  by Tamsin Wilton
2002
Weight: 1.2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Leaving in Decatur, GA

This book was given to me by a woman who chose to leave heterosexuality behind while in college.  She was very vocal about it being her choice, which I thought/think was/is great.  There is some discussion about sexuality as choice in this book, which makes me happy.  It is not just nature vs nurture.  In case you were wondering, I think it is nature, nurture, and/or choice that makes someone's sexuality.  I think everyone has their unique mix up.  I believe I have always felt more intimate and bonded with women and that there is, possibly, a biological, hormonal, genetic cause.  I also know that if given the choice to be heterosexual I would say hell no.  I love loving women.  And, as I got older, I realized that if I felt compelled to I could choose to have sex with men, but I also knew I would never want a relationship with one.  I have never felt a strong bond with a man, with the exception of my high school best friend, Chris, and I was never sexually attracted to him.  I also just don't think I could deal with the outcome of male socialization.  I have no interest in a power struggle or a lack of communication/emotion.  I am aware that there are millions of sensitive, caring, feminist men out there that would probably make wonderful partners, but I do not want to sift through them all when I know I prefer women up front.  I would rather try to find a wonderfully sensitive, feminist woman.  And, while I was a lesbian long before my sexual assault, I do think that being raped will forever inhibit and decrease any interest I might have in being intimate with a man. 

That being said, I am frequently attracted to women whose sexuality is less defined and more fluid.  It is an incredibly sexy quality to have.  There is a certain courage and acceptance that seems to go along with it but, more importantly, I feel like these women have less rigid rules and unfortunate judgements/stereotypes about other women (and men),as a whole.  It is unfortunate that the lesbian community can be so naively dismissive and unaccepting of women with what might seem to them to be a less clear cut, defined sexuality.  I feel like it is getting better with the younger generation, but I still see it affecting women's lives in strong ways.  I was glad that this was discussed in this book.

Unexpected Pleasures is kind of like an intro too and a self-help book for women coming out as lesbians later in life.  I wish it had been slightly more fluid, but the woman who wrote it was a researcher and so I understand she had to narrow her focus.  I would like to read a similar book that included lesbian women who have come out as heterosexual later in life and lot more women who did not identify as one way or another.  There were some components like lesbian sex being better than heterosexual sex as a whole that rubbed me the wrong way, and I had so much I wanted to put forth to argue my points.  We do not have to tear down one to enjoy another.

Overall, though, it was a good introductory, supportive, positive book, and it relied heavily on actual interviews with women, which I appreciated.  I also liked the sources offered in the back of the book. The book was written based on British women's experiences and so the sources were geared to them too, though the author had a few US sources as well.

I Do/I Don't

I Do I Don't: Queers on Marriage  Edited by Greg Wharton and Ian Philips
2004
Weight: 1.1 lbs
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Hodge Podge

I picked up this book after the two cases about same-sex marriage were heard by the Supreme Court this year.  I bought it when it first came out, and I was anti-same-sex marriage, but I did not read it because it talked SO MUCH about, ugh/bleck/groan, marriage.  This time, when I picked it up, I was not even feeling just pro-okay-gay-people-should-have-the-right-even-though-it-is-a-dumb-idea thoughts but even thoughts that, MAYBE, I would like to be married one day.

I read boring essays, great ones, semi-amusing ones, ambivalent ones, and even one highly offensive one comparing gays wanting to be married to "Jews praying for Zyklon B," among other truly fucked up, non-comparable things.  A couple hundred pages in I never wanted to hear the words "same-sex" "gay marriage" or "civil union" ever again.  I was glad I stuck it out though because I read a unique and unexpectedly insightful piece by Sarah Silverman that made me respect her a lot more than I had previously, and it helped me look at some things differently.

In the end, I still recognize that the history of "marriage" is fraught with problematic and oppressive issues, that it is frequently a union that people get into for all the wrong reasons, and that it should not be the number one issue of the gay rights movement.  I also think that, MAYBE, I might like the option of making the decision for myself one day.

Geography Club

Geography Club by Brent Hartinger
2004
Weight: 6.4 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

I love young adult fiction, as you may know by now if you have read some of my other posts.  There is something that gets me even more wound up within the genre than your average story.  I get SO EXCITED to see new LGBTQI young adult fiction!  When I worked at the bookstore, I use to LOVE going through and scanning the young adult section to see what should be sent back to the publisher and what should stay.  I would be in a bad mood all week if someone got to it before me.  I liked being in control because I would, shamelessly, leave the gay/lesbian titles on the shelves longer than they were suppose to be and I could see all the new ones that came out.  I was allowed to "check out" the newer titles and would buy the cheap paperbacks.

Today has been a particularly emotional and important day to me and to many of my friends.  It has also been difficult because we know that, while the Supreme Court is finally dealing with same-sex marriage, we will not hear any decisions for some time, and we have no idea what will be decided.  The wait, hearing the anti-gay folks speak out so publically, watching our support groups grow more tight knit---it leaves one with a lot of emotions.  Here's to finding strength in each other!


 

Loving Someone Gay

Loving Someone Gay Revised and Updated  by Don Clark, Ph. D
1997
Weight: 1 lb
Method of Disposal: Donating

Apparently, around 300,000 people are protesting gay marriage and adoption in France.  As the demonstration was winding down a number of youths started to amp up the energy and the riot police took action with tear gas.  People of the clergy, teenagers, anti-gay opponents, and CHILDREN (super responsible parents here) were all present. 

From the NBC website:

Polls indicate a shrinking majority of French voters back gay marriage, which is legal in about a dozen mostly European nations and some U.S. states. But polls show French voters are less enthusiastic about adoption by same-sex couples.
Frigide Barjot, the stage name of an activist who has led protests against the bill, insisted the anti-gay marriage movement wasn't a lost cause. "It's the second round, sir. It's not the last battle."

http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/03/24/17444093-clashes-riot-police-at-french-anti-gay-marriage-protest?lite

It hurts that in this day and age people are still filled with such passionate disdain and even hatred.  It is hard to think of that many people demonstrating against me and people like me--particularly french people like me, haha.  I really don't know what else to say.  It is painful.  We will win this fight, slowly, and all over the world, but it still hurts to see all those who would hold us back and even some of those who would hurt us.

My Heartbeat

My Heartbeart  by Garret Freymann-Weyr

2002

Weight: 11.2 oz

Method of Disposal: Donating or Giving away

It is probably fairly obvious by now why this book made it to my shelves.  It is 1) a young adult book and 2) a book that deals with queer issues—or at least an affluent, gay, male teenager.  I was impressed that the book made it into the bookstores and that it won several awards, but I felt neither here nor there about it.

A teenage girl loves hanging out with her brother, Link, and his bestfriend, James.  Then, someone at school asserts that her brother is gay and things start to spiral past her understanding.  I do like that this book does not follow typical themes.  The mother is open and knowledgeable.  It is the sibling relationship that falters.  There are not over-exaggerated theatrics or unnecessary acts of violence.  Sexuality is not completely binary and stagnant.  I don’t know.  Let me know if you want to check it out, and it is yours free.  I would love it if you told me what you thought.

The Geography Club

Geography Club by Brent Hartinger
2003
Weight: 6 oz.
Method of Disposal: Do want to read it? Otherwise, I am not sure.



This book was not exceptional, though it was amusing. It was one of my gay/lesbian finds I got so excited about in my Barnes and Noble employment days. I had wanted there to be more gay/lesbian young adult reading when I was the age that genre is geared towards, and I couldn’t find it. Then, as a college student, it slowly started popping up. I was excited to find Geography Club, and I took it home that night.

My then-girlfriend and I read it aloud to each other in bed. The writing wasn’t great, the character development left a lot to be desired, and stereotypes ran rampant, but we had so much fun with it. We would be laughing out loud when it got too absurd, and then we would toss it aside for the next night. I cannot tell you now that if I read it again I would feel anything. I don’t know what would happen. It is possible that all my positive feelings towards this book are actually positive feelings towards that moment in my life, in that bed, in that apartment, with that girl.