Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
1982
Weight: 4 oz
Method Disposal: Giving Away
It is no secret that, in general, Americans do not have a healthy connection with death and dying. I sure do not and have been looking for tools and resources on my own in an attempt to get more comfortable with the most uncomfortable of subjects. I always think I am preparing myself, but there is no preparation and it is jarring and disorienting in the largest, most earth shaking ways when death touched you, even on the periphery. I am scared to face the death of my loved ones, but I am also determined to be better at being supportive of those I love who are grieving. Unfortunately, it is not something that you can learn from reading a handbook, and it is not something you can protect yourself from.
I did not pick up this book to learn about death. I picked up this book to revisit the work of Judy Blume as an adult, and I had also never read Tiger Eyes. I recognized the style right away, even though I did not know the story. Tiger Eyes is about a teenager who loses her father to violence and her struggle to overcome depression, anxiety, and grief afterwards. She must do this within a family of other people who are also grieving. She wants and needs her mother, but her mother is lost in despair too. She is not always her best self and neither are her mom, her aunt, her uncle, but they are also not their worst selves. They are just hurting people.
I think young adult books like this, centered heavily on character development, are so helpful and important to our emotional growth. Young adults do not always feel comfortable asking questions and, if they are like I was, they would not even always know what to ask. You are learning so much so fast, and what you are learning is not just your school curriculum. If a young adult will read and wants to read, they can learn without fear of judgement, without having to know what is right and wrong to ask, and you are just led through it without even realizing you are learning. Learning by experience even if you, personally, are not the one doing the experiencing. Do not get me wrong, you do not read Tiger Eyes and then become a person who knows what it is like to grieve, but you do develop empathy and concern. There is a template, if you ever need to see one again or if you needed one to begin with, that shows you that there is still life after the death of a loved one. Books like this one do not make everything better, but their value is subtle and that value collects in your brain, with all the other information you have gained from life, from other books, from other people. Thank you, Judy Blume, for tackling the hard stuff, even though it is not easy to face the darkness.
