Saturday, April 27, 2013


Sexscopes: How to Seduce, Stimulate, and Satisfy Any Sign  by Stuart Hazleton
Weight: 9 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

This was left behind by my ex-girlfriend (a Leo) long ago.  I (a Leo) thought I had already given it away, but it appears that I have not.  The woman I am with now is a cusp so it makes it less obvious but, according to this, if she leans towards Cancer we are set for bliss, but if she leans towards Leo we are screwed. 

I chose to lean towards bliss.

There is an inconsistency though.  If you read it from her sign it goes like this:

Leo and Cancer: leo's sunny attitude in the sack keeps Cancer guessing, but since Leo sticks by those he or she loves the crab won't need to worry about a Sagittarian-style stray.  Cancer shows Leo love and radiates the possessive nature kitty cats desire.  Meanwhile, Leo presents Cancer with a myriad sexual situations--and positions!  Paradise found.

Leo and Cancer: Once Cancer can get used to Leo's over-the-top attitude, all signals are definitely go in this awesome mix.  Cancer's intuition enables him or her to say all the right things to compliment proud but needy Leo, while Leo will do anything to protect the easily wounded sign of the crab.

Then, if you read it from my angle it goes like this:

Cancer and Leo: Your odds for headboard-banging hedonism are about fifty/fifty when you pair the sign of the crab with the sign of the lion.  Leo likes Cancer's constant attention but Leo's anything-goes attitude and need to be worshipped in the sack grate on Cancer's nerves.  Probably not a good long-term option but an awesome emergency booty call.

Both of you believe in true love but you have varied definitions on what true love means.  For Leo, love is a parade--something to be celebrated in parties and public alike.  For Cancer, romance is far more personal.  The idea of exposing their inner soul to anyone other than their mate is the anathema to the sign of the crab.  Compromise is key to making this perilous passion work.  If Leo takes two steps back while Cancer steps forward, you'll be a totally content couple.

Hmmm, well, I guess only time, not stars, will tell.

According to the front of the book, "Thank your lucky libido Sexscopes has arrived.  More fun than an inflatable doll, more titillating than a pair of tight jeans--open this book and get ready for a good time." --Matthew "Dr. Matt" Abergel, author of Work Your Stars and Gay Stars

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Journal of Material Culture

Journal of Material Culture Vol 1, No 2 and 3  Sage Publicationss
Weight: 1.5 lbs
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

These are strange things for someone like me to own.  Clearly a remnant of college, I am STILL reluctant to get rid of them.  It is not everyday you stumble across an article like , "Commodifying Affection, Authority and Gender in the Everyday Objects of Japan."  I am not even sure you could find it, as a non-academic, if you were looking.  What about "Don't Tell Dear': The Material od Tampons and Napkins?" Okay, that one might be easier.  Well, if you ARE looking right now then head to Joe's.  They are on the book cart.

Thing of Beauty

Thing of Beauty: The Tragedy of Supermodel Gia  by Stephen Fried
Weight: 8.2 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

I came to Gia, like many lesbians people of my age did, through the film in which Angelina Jolie starred.  It is the movie that made me lust for Angie above all others for years, and it is the movie that made me buy a book about a supermodel (something I never would have done).  The sexiness of Angelina and the queer love story snagged me, but the human pain and struggle would have stuck with me no matter what.  The book showed a far more disturbing underbelly to the fashion industry and the young fans of the industry than the movie but, though I hate to admit it, I mostly remember Angelina kicking in a window, desperate for someone to love her, being abusive (though I did not recognize it then as that--though I knew it wasn't good) to the beautiful Linda.  I remember Gia's pain, Linda's turmoil, the drugs, the misunderstandings, the family.

It was absolutely a movie a high schooler would love.  I say that, but I am not trying to take away from the adult pain...just recognizing the obvious.

The Actor's Book of Contemporary Stage Monologues

The Actor's Book of Contemporary Stage Monologues: More Than 150 Monologues from More Than 70 Playwrights  Edited by Nina Shengold
Weight: 1.3 lbs
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's at EAV

Another book of monologues...I wanted to be an actress before I wanted to be a writer.  That was so long ago.  During the transition from one to the other, I would read monologues out loud with other book obsessed friends, and we just enjoyed taking on different voices and personalities.  We thought it might even help us with character development within our own writing but, if it didn't, no pressure.  It was all in good fun.

I still think of you, Kristal McKenzie.

Amazing Young Adult Fiction

Holes  Louis Sachar 2000
Maniac Magee  Jerry Spinelli 1990
Weight: 12 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

Maniac Magee was one of my favorite books growing up, and I do not think it was only because it was also one of my brother's favorites at the time, though that is why I read it to begin with.  It is about a homeless teenager who becomes a legend.  He is amazing and also mysterious.  He has no home, but he has many talents and one of them is finding the good in people and making friends in spite of societal pressures.  This book deals with what family is and how it is not always just the people you are born to, race relations, and what "home" entails.  It has been a very long time since I have read this book so I cannot tell you how well done it is, but I do remember being quite moved as a child.  Maniac Magee was someone you wish you knew, someone you would like to be like, and he is an outlier.

Holes was written almost a decade later and was turned into a movie.  It is about a boy who is forced to dig holes, among other demeaning things, in an all boys detention center.  This is another book that is written about an outcast who is also a hero and someone to look up to, despite his troubled past. 

Have I mentioned that I love Young Adult fiction?  I am happy to think of these books being on summer reading lists and hopeful that they will encourage kids to enjoy reading.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Bunnicula Strikes Again

Bunnicula Strikes Again  by James Howe
Weight: 2 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating to AKF

Papi died today, almost two weeks from the day her sister, Prim, died.  It appeared to be quite suddenly.  Rodents have short lifespans, but they really are amazing creatures.  I love watching the mom and daughter (Emily and Wonder) I adopted recently.  They seem to seek each other out for comfort, and I love watching them burrow down beneath their fluff. 

As a child, I loved Bunnicula.  I believe I first purchased Bunnicula from a Scholastic Book Fair--something else that really excited me as a child.  I remember pouring over the catalogues of books and choosing all of the ones I really wanted, showing it to my parents, and them telling me there was no way.  I would need to narrow it down.  Way down.  I remember reading Bunnicula and other chapter books written from the point of view of the animals, and I was in awe.  I loved them and wanted to be surrounded by animals, small and large. 

Now, I am. 

Our World

National Geographic Picture Atlas of Our World
Weight: 4.2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating to the AKF

I have been known to save things of my brother's from when he was a child.  I give these things back to him when he seems like he is at a point where he might appreciate them.  Sometimes I am wrong, sometimes I am right.  I have ornaments he made, books bought for him as a little boy, some letters and pictures.  Maybe that is why I have this book, though I cannot remember ever knowing it was his.  In this case though, I am fairly certain he does not need/want it back.  Maybe someone else will want it and who does not love to get a book inscribed to someone else?  I LOVE THAT.

Inside the front cover is written:

Dear Rusty,
Hope you will enjoy this book.  Maybe you can use it on some of your focus assignments.  Love Mimi & Dadad Christmas 1990

Hard to believe it was 23 years ago...

Friday, April 19, 2013

Woman's World

Woman's World by Graham Rawle
Weight: 1.8 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating to AKF

I bought this book the second I found it online.  I am always intrigued with stories written/told in new and unique ways.  The only problem with this is that you end up reading a lot of crap that is only aesthetically pleasing.  This book was not terrible, but it was not amazing either, and it was WAY too long.

I am impressed that the whole book is made up of actually trimmings from a British women's magazine.  I cannot imagine how long it took the author to create it, but the story itself is lackluster and I do not care for the narrator at all.  I understand why she was used and how she fits in with the snippets.  That the character and the magazine are perfectly representational of each other, but it does not make it an enjoyable read.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

467 Books, 162.22 lbs

Special Units: Assault Police

Special Units: Assault Police  by Octavio Diez
Weight: 1.1 lbs
Method of Disposal: Leaving in Joe's in EAV

In my first year of college I had a roommate that volunteered for CASA, a child advocacy group in the area.  She had to be sworn in by a judge incredibly early in the morning, but she did not have a car.  She would need me to give her a ride.  Again.  I woke up early.  I cannot remember exactly when now.  Maybe she had to be there by seven?  We drove around, looking for the courthouse to no avail.  We saw a police officer, and she asked me to pull over and ask her for directions.  I did and immediately she wrote me a citation for trespassing on government property.  I had no idea where I was, what I had done wrong, or why I had to wait for her to run my license in her database.  Because I was waiting in the car for such a long period, I was able to look around and note that I had pulled into DeKalb County Special Operations.  I had to go to court to appeal the decision, and then I was told I would have to come back again--same time, same place.  My teacher told me she would fail me if I missed the class to go to court and that I should just pay the ticket.  It sounds extreme, but she had a very strict policy for her class Women, Islam, and the Qur'an (which was very interesting by the by).  I paid the ticket.  My roommate volunteered for CASA. 

Atlanta Special Forces are featured in this book.  That is why this story is relevant.  It still pisses me off to this day.

Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?

Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? And Other Conversations About Race
Beverly Daniel Tatum, Ph. D
Weight: 10.4 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

This was required reading for all first year students at Agnes Scott College when I started there.  It was a great introductory book for college.  It is easy to understand, and it encompasses many important and pressing issues about systematic racism and oppression.  I was very excited to talk about it with my new professors and peers, which really never happened in a satisfactory way--for me anyway.  I did learn a lot about oppression in my time there.  It is what I spent at least 50-80% of my time studying.  I still reference pieces of this book when I get into discussions with people who try to talk to me about "reverse racism," being the only white person in a room/school/workplace/whatever, and/or who believe racism no longer exists.

Four years later the author would give the commencement speech to my graduating class. 

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius  Dave Eggers
Weight: 12.8 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

I read this book on a cross-country road trip from Georgia to California and back when I was in high school.  I had no idea when I bought it that I would be driving down the same strips of road described in the novel at the exact moment I would be reading those parts.  It felt magical to have accidentally stumbled on such serendipity.

As for the book as a whole, I thought it was okay.  I was not blown away by it, and I never understood why it became such a sensation.  Though, I must admit, I have never been a big Eggers fan.  I don't hate him, and I have read a lot of his work searching for what other people see, but I always leave feeling neither here nor there about it. 

This book has had a rough life.  The cover is clinging on for dear life, but I think it has at least one more good read left in it.

Forty Years of Creation

Yves Saint Laurent: 40 Years of Creation
Yves Saint Laurent , Hady Sy , Beatrice Dupire , Marie-Joe Lepicard , International Festival of Fashion Photography

I am kinda a fashion guru, a style ninja, if you will so if there is a book on fashion to be had I have it.  That statement is a complete fabrication, and I have no idea why I have this book.  It was probably on sale, and I liked the photographs of women at some point.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Making Memory Books and Journals by Hand

Making Memory Books and Journals By Hand 
Kristina Feliciano , Kevin Thomas , Jo Lethaby , Jason Thompson
Weight: 2.7 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating to AKF

This picture does not appear to fit this blog entry, BUT I assure you it does.  These race pictures are way overpriced, and this picture probably deserves to be in a memory book for its price even more than for  the moment it captures, but it never will be due to my inadequacies, haha.  It also may mean that I would rather leap over fire than sit down and craft.

I am not a crafter.  I have grown to really admire people who are, but I cannot even dress myself, much less figure out how (a)symmetry works on a page.  I learned this from forced group projects in school, watching my friends (artists and/or crafters) create beautiful gifts or masterpieces, and from struggling to make my own little scrapbooks/gifts/artwork.  I particularly love the idea of making beautiful and unique books.  Big surprise, huh?  This book has a lot of really great ideas and beautiful projects.  I bought it when I was in college and dating a crafter.  She was more into beads than anything, but she did some sewing and scrapbooking.  It frequently bored the hell out of me.  So, that's it then.  Not only do I have no sense of style, but I am also impatient, easily distracted, and more interested in collecting books than making them.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Babylon Revisited and The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

Babylon Revisited and Other Stories F Scott Fitzgerald
The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe C.S. Lewis
The publication years are unknown because the books are in shreds.
Weight: 12oz-ish?
Method of Disposal : Recycling

Another two books are gone to the strays.  I guess I should count myself as lucky that they are both classics and easy to find at the library.  Strelka/Charlotte is such a fun and playful girl, but it is time that she goes back to her mama.  She is staying with me indefinitely--both of us just hoping that mom actually comes back.  We are in some sort of strange in between place and the outcome does not look promising, but we have limited options and so we hope anyway.

My first introduction to The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was when I was in elementary school.  My brother was reading it.  We were going to sleep on a mattress on the floor of his bedroom, and I wanted to read it too.

I was introduced to Fitzgerald in high school with The Great Gatsby and then I started reading his other work from there.

I will be recycling the remnants of both of these books and trying to hoover up the slivers that are too small to pick up.  Poor Charlotte.  She needs attention, love, and stability.  I have never been able to give it to her, and I have not been able to find anyone else who could either.  She showed up as a stray, went home with a girl that returned her due to allergies, and then went home with two women who broke up, and then came back to me yet again.  I'm trying, Baby Girl, I really am.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Classic and Contemporary Nude Photography

Classic and Contemporary Nude Photography  David Chamberlain
Weight: 2.3
Method of Disposal: Donating

This book was given to me by my grandfather, on the sly, when he thought I was old enough.  There was a certain perceived badness or guilt associated with it, as you could gauge by his well-meaning chuckle and devious smile.  It was not in any disturbing or awkward way.  It was just what happens when we are raised in a culture of body-shaming when the human body is actually quite beautiful and fun to photograph.

Anyway, I am not getting into that today.  I am getting rid of this book because it celebrates the human body, AND I just did the Warrior Dash yesterday in Georgia!  This is the second 5K I have done in my life--the last one was last month, and it was the Foam Run.  A 5K with obstacles is a breeze for many people, but I am still working on getting into shape and am quite chunky, and I am terrified of heights so I am mad proud of myself for doing it and having fun all the while.  I am excited to continue training my body to take on bigger challenges.  We only have our bodies so long and with each year they weaken, sometimes sooner than expected due to illness or accident.  I want to do everything I can while I can. 


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Going Down

Going Down  by Jennifer Belle
Weight: 9 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

Conversation between my friend and God

I guess my main problem with this book is that I could not hear the dialogue.  I just could not imagine people talking to each other the way it was written.  It was also difficult to believe in the main character.  A young woman with money who befriends and slums it with the homeless from time to time, giving them money and condoms.  The whole time I was reading it I was trying to decide if I should just put it down and move on.  I was have that old debate in my head.  Other people always say not to waste your life reading a bad book--there are so many good ones out there--but I always want to finish and sometimes I am shocked by how my feelings change at the end of a book or three days later.  In this case, I kinda just wish I had put it down.  Just not my thing, I guess.  Plenty of other people liked it.

Under the Banner of Heaven

Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith  by Jon Krakauer
Weight: 10 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

This one took me awhile to get through.  Not, necessarily, from lack of interest but because it truly was a violent and gruesome story.  The murder of a woman and baby at the hands of Dan and Ron Lafferty is particularly brutal, scary, and difficult to read about.  The systematic rape of teenage girls in certain communities and the non-consensual incest was infuriating and shocking and infuriating and shocking.  And in the name of religion.  Albeit these groups practice fundamentalist Mormanism, a conservative/strict and small subsection of Mormanism frowned upon (understatement) by the main church.

I learned things I never knew, some things I wish I could unlearn.  I would not, per se, recommend this book, but I would not dissuade you either.  Just be prepared for horror.  It also includes an interesting history of the Mormon Church that I was not familiar with, as I have a limited knowledge base about the religion.

Marley and Me

Marley and Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog by John Grogan
Weight: 12 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

Today, My Beautiful Baby Girl, Bayah, went into a trial adoption period with a very nice woman from work.  I was more of an emotional wreck about it than I have been in the past.  I had consistently been tormenting myself, going back and forth, about whether or not I should adopt her.  For once, my dogs seemed like they would allow it.  I could not even bring myself to say goodbye to her.  When I brought her in this morning, I had no idea she would be leaving this afternoon.  I, admittedly, went and top-secret, stealth cried on the walking trail.  It is always difficult to let a foster go but, as you may have read in past posts, often it is more clear to me that I am doing the right and necessary thing.  Bayah will have a wonderful home with this woman.  I do not doubt that, I just question my heart.  I loved her intensely.  Did I let her go because it was best for her?  Because I was afraid to take on more responsibility?  Because I was scared of being so connected to a foster?  I don't know.
Bayah (then Beau) was rescued with a single puppy, Aries, over a year ago.  They went into foster care with Harriet and Connor.  Aries got an amazing home with an incredibly kind, warm, loving man and Bayah went home with someone else.  She was fed a poor diet and returned to the shelter a year later overweight, with 6 teeth, hair loss, and looking like she had aged by at least five years.  We had nowhere for her to go at the shelter, but I could not just watch Harriet's foster walk back out the door without knowing she would be safe.  I took her home because I could not bare the thought of Harriet going through the emotional trauma of hearing what happened to her foster and not knowing the outcome.  I took her home because I loved her the second the woman said she had been cared for by a British couple. I would like to say it was before that, but I had hardened my heart.  How many other animals had come in before her that we did not have room for that day?  She embodied the love I felt for someone else.
I had her for a month, and I fell hard for her.  I loved her for who she was, a lazy, easygoing Chihuahua that felt like an overgrown potato in my hands.  I could bring her with me anywhere.  She played with my friend's dogs--okay, she did not play, but she could be around them, watching them warily or ignoring them.  She was the perfect co-pilot in the car.  She cuddled, burrowed, and snugged like no other.  Most importantly, my dogs tolerated her, were curious about her, and could leave her be when necessary. 
Today, she went home with a very nice woman who has another small dog.  A very well-groomed and spoiled Shih Tzu.  She will have a wonderful life, and I will be able to get updates about her.  It is the perfect, fairy-tale ending so why do I feel so lonely tonight?  I know it was the right decision.  I feel more and more confident about it as the hours pass, but I do not feel better about it yet.  Good luck, Sweet Bayah.  Look at me.  All in a frenzy and do not forget this blog started with the words "trial adoption."

Monday, April 8, 2013

Blood Thirst

Blood Thirst: 100 Years of Vampire Fiction Edited by Leonard Wolf
Weight: 1.3 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating

I feel half dead today.  All it really takes is having bad allergies in the spring and living in Georgia, trying to combat them with Claritin D, and then not getting any sleep for days in a row, but there. is. more.  I woke up to a seriously sick dog that is not mine but may not have a home.  The walls literally dripping with liquid feces.  Quite the cleanup at 8am this morning.  I am still monitoring her and hoping that she will be go okay.

Then, it was off to the shelter.  I was late, but the day started promptly with really wonderful people asking for my help on behalf of some seriously in need animals and me with not being able to help them.  Their stories sticking with me all day.  I agreed to be useful to people in any way I could out of guilt and a sense of obligation.  Doing home inspections on my days off for other humane societies, posting lost ads online, and taking phone numbers in case I could find something, afterall, for that pooch you found in the park, even as my own stray is fasting before her chicken and rice diet starts.

Things just kept falling apart and not going as planned.  The foster program I worked so hard to build seems to be crumbling more and more each day and my favorite pup, a pit bull that had lived at the shelter for around 5 years before going into "lifetime" foster, will be returned next month when her people move out of state.  I wanted so much more for her and thought we had finally found it.

How is this for an awkward, personal complaint post?  Like a good ol' Livejournal entry or something.  I feel like a vampire.  Delusional, tired, monotone, and a rage/desperation rising up within me that I am having trouble dispersing.  I didn't even know vampires were monotone...


Sunday, April 7, 2013

Full Exposure

Full Exposure: Opening Up to Your Sexual Creativity and Erotic Expression by Susie Bright
Weight: 11.2 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving in a book box in Decatur

I just finished Full Exposure, and I loved it!  Thank you again, Susie Bright.  I love sex positivity and talking/reading about sex.  I particularly enjoyed her writing about jealousy.  She writes:
You also have to face jealousy head-on; your own baby will show you soon enough what that's all about, even if you're still in denial.  With kids, your mission is to show them that there's enough love to go around, that when you go away you will come back, and that they need to respect your privacy as well as their own.  They will get jealous when they see you paying attention to someone else.  When your infant howls or your toddler throws a fit, you'll see how natural jealousy is--but you'll also see the "natural" wisdom of separating yourself, with love, from those you love (108).
I don't believe you can purge jealousy from your soul, but you do have to put it in its place.  I get jealous as easily as I feel any of my babyish feelings, and I recognize them for that.  Sometimes I'll ask for my lover for reassurance, but often I'll tease him or make fun of myself.  I'll shout my most paranoid fantasy, because just saying it out loud makes me laugh at its absurdity: "You're leaving me for the Girl Scout Cookie Delivery Bitch!"  Being a jealous vixen is very cathartic as long as you declaw before the performance begins (109).
The whole book was a positive experience though, and the jealousy part was a very tiny component.  You should check it out.  See what it is about.  Let me know if you want this copy, and I can bring it to you instead of the book box!

Attitudes and Emotions

Attitudes and Emotions Part II  By Edgar Cayce
Weight: 2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating

My grandfather called last night.  He wanted to know when he could have dinner with me and my girlfriend.  You have no idea how great that is.  So many years have gone by where my relationships were not discussed and if they came up negative energy quickly encompassed the room before being pushed away by southern politeness/changing the topic. 

I want to have that dinner, even if it is at a terrible restaurant where all the vegetables are soaked in meat juices and chicken dumplings are considered a vegetable.  The most amazing part about our brief but sweet conversation the other night is that I felt comfortable/safe gushing about her with him in a way that I have not with my other family members and several of my close friends.  In part because he is someone who still believes in love and also because he loves me and knows that if I chose to be with her she must be incredible.  And she is. So double, triple win.  I think I'm a gonna RSVP to this one.


Saturday, April 6, 2013


Howl: A Collection of the Best Contemporary Dog Wit  Editors of BARk
Weight: 1.2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating

I guess I have become a crazy animal woman, despite myself.  As a child, I was obsessed.  I watched every nature documentary I could find, read every book about critters my parents gave me, "adopted" as many as I could with my meager earnings from doing chores(you pay a fee and the wildlife group sends you a picture and certificate of adoption), drew/colored/hung up signs around the neighborhood encouraging people to save endangered animals.  High School/College I had what some might call a healthy appreciation of animals.  I loved them, but I did not fawn all over them or really think about them all that much.  I scoffed at "dog people" and "cat people" were beyond the realm of believability.  I say that, but I did become a vegetarian to cause as little harm to other living creatures as possible while in college.  BUT I had read an article linking animal oppression to SEX OPPRESSION!  And I loved women... I did not dream I would dedicate so much of my life to them in the years after college.  I, for sure, never thought I would dress a dog up, much less pay for the outfit. 

I would have told you that no, I would never drive to Knoxville, TN just to get two gerbils from an animal control facility.  I probably wouldn't have even said that.  I would have just looked at you warily and walked away.  As it is, my buddy, Skye, and I drove to Knoxville to get Papi and Prim in July of 2013.  She is a good friend.  I called her that morning, and she agreed to come even though she had to be at work that night, hadn't slept yet, and thought I said we were going to Kentucky for Guinea Pigs.  She is a good friend or someone with no self-preservation instinct.  I am not sure which.  We rode along, and I rambled on about anything and everything, listening to ridiculous music and pointing out fun places I wish we could stop along the way--like a billboard that proclaimed something along the lines of "Cows, Cheese, Wow!"  My dear friend had just moved back overseas, and I was a bit of a mess.  Fluctuating between being incredibly happy/excited by the trip to nervous/anxious/sad about potentially losing a friend.  I knew I was missing her when I would turn on the billboard hits she had always liked, and I had always hated.  I forced Skye to listen to them, smiling deviously and blushing.  I had never even let Harriet listen to them in my car during the year she was here and now I was making Skye suffer them even as she was doing me a good deed.  Sucks to be my friend, I guess!

When we got to the facility, no one knew where the gerbils had gone to.  They said if we could not find them then they were probably adopted.  This was alarming.  I had been e-mailing with a nice woman about holding them since we would be making quite the drive.  Not to mention, it was discomforting that no one could confirm or deny that they were adopted.  We finally found them on the floor, up against a wall, with a sign stating that gerbils learned about the world with their teeth.  Do not be alarmed if they bite you!  The cage I had waiting in the car was a huge improvement over their current digs, and I was feeling really good about taking them home.  I filled out the application, paid the adoption fee, and we turned around and headed back home with them seat belted in the back. 

We were told they were two boys, Ishmael and Queequeg.  I loved the names and was tempted to keep them.  Sherlock and Watson would be pretty cute too though...

My other dear friend, Tracy, had drawn them a welcome home card and brought treats.  I showed them off, and they started humping like fiends.  I was sure babies would soon follow, and I might have panicked.  They weren't boys after all!  As it turns out, they were both girls, and I joked about how I had adopted lesbian gerbils.  Holler.  I let Harriet name them.  She decided on the names of her childhood rabbits, Poppy and Primrose, also important flowers in England.  Over time, I molded them to fit me better and to fit the personalities of the two little rodents.  Papi is the dark-haired one and Prim was the blonde.

They were incredibly messy and destructive, frequently making me laugh, though also making me vow I would never get another gerbil again.  I would stick to hamsters in the future.  They seemed much cleaner.  The other day I went to feed the babies and found Prim dead, outside of her hut.  I buried her and moved Papi to a new, clean cage.  Papi has taken to sleeping on top of the hut when she sleeps and staying up throughout the day when she should be asleep.  I wonder what is going through her little mind.  I did not expect to lose Prim so quickly, and I hope Papi perseveres for much longer.

All of this is to say, rest in peace Queequeg/Watson/Primrose/Prim.  Thank you for spending your life with me.  I hope you had a happy one.