Different Loving

Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by Gloria G. Brame, Jon Jacobs, and William D. Brame 

1996

Weight: 1.8 lbs

I collect books.  I am not trying to hoard them and am happy to give them up and rehome them after reading.  It is rare that I will read the same book twice.  There are too many books and, as they say, too little time.  It is a real possibility that I could die before completing my current collection, and THAT keeps me up at night.  It keeps me up and reading anyway.  I am on a mission.  

I remember when it started.  I knew the name of every book and every author I had ever read.  I realized that I was collecting knowledge and that, in a way, I could know at least a little bit about everything.  My adolescent mind did not yet comprehend what it would be like to hold too much information and to not be able to access it all completely.  I did not know what it would feel like to almost know so many things but to not know enough to explain anything.  That is where I am at now, but it is a compulsion and a need at this point.  I must read.  I must surround myself with all the things I hope to know.  I always have a few hard copies nearby, a couple on my Kindle App, all my shelves full, and boxes of books waiting for shelves to become available.  But, if you ask me if I want a book of yours, the answer is always yes.  100 times yes.  The less you are like me and making a recommendation the better.

I love the smell of both, old and new books.  If you bury your face in one, the smell is strong but, before I bring them close, I cannot smell them at all.  I love the feel of a good trade paperback--malleable but strong.  I prefer matte covers to shiny ones.  The shiny ones feel cheap and remind me of self-publishing.  Self publishing can be a wonderful thing, but it is mostly just scary.  It seems like the less money the publisher puts into the book the more of a gamble it will be.  How elitist of me.

I think about the people we have lost and the books they never read.  If they had advanced warning, which ones did they scramble to read before they would never read again?  Sometimes, when you are very sick, reading is one of the only things you can do until you can't.  Will I regret all the time I have spent reading or will I regret that I did not read enough?

I make plans.  If my eyesight gets worse, there is always large print, or you can change the font size on a tablet.  If that is no longer useful, there are audio books.  Is there anything in the world that has not already been written?  It seems like there is an endless resource, an endless combination of words, and some combinations just make my brain crackle and come back to life.  I live for that something new.  I hunt for it constantly.

The Disaster

All About Love by Bell Hooks
A Dogs Memories...Our Lives Together
Drawing the Head and Figure
To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
Transfer Printing by Guy Scott
Whipping Girl by Julia Serano
Weight: 3 lbs
Method of Disposal: Natural Disaster

My beautiful wife will not let me tell you the real story as to how all of these books came to be destroyed, but let me assure you it had nothing to do with snakes.  I am just on her laptop and have limited access to pictures.  I have just as much disdain for my destroyed books as I (albeit unnecessarily) have to that serpent right now.

Since I cannot tell you the real story, I will tell you this one.  There once was an expansive and magical library of books that was dusted daily and tended to by the most gorgeous of faeries.  The fairy's name was Lorelei, and she had just moved to a new settlement with magical unicorns and fireflies that were permanently stuck in the sky.  Everything was as it should be for months and months (despite having to work long hours at a job where she was deeply under appreciated) until a dark force came, without her knowledge, into her ethereal realm in the form of several spirits.  One by one the spirits took her books.  The ones that did not perish were still damaged and Lorelei angrily had to throw them out before their allotted time ( a time when she would record their existence and leave it on the world wide web).  She did this quickly and with much remorse, leaving behind her own form of disarray and despair (her office was left quite a mess).  She had no idea how to vanquish the spirits but reinforcements would be called in by that Ribbons girl that lived down the lane (in the same house).

To be continued...

"Having Fun Isn't Hard When You Have a Library Card!" -Arthur the Aardvark

The Librarian of Basra: A True Story from Iraq by Jeanette Winter
2005
Weight: 12 oz
Method of Disposal: Giving to Sarah G.A.

I love this book. It is a book about a library in Basra and the people who love it. War creeps into the city and the people and books are in danger. Everyone flees the library except for the librarian, Alia. She gets people to help her move all of the books into her friend’s restaurant next door. Soon, the library will burn down. In a quiet moment, she gets a truck and moves 30,000 books out of the restaurant and into her home and the homes of her friends. She keeps the books safe and dreams of peace.

In a note from the author we are told about the real Alia who managed to save 70 percent of her library’s books before it was burnt down.

This is a children’s book about war and while I would like to protect kids from the atrocities adults commit, it is impossible. Children are hearing about the wars we have been fighting, they are seeing it on television, they are watching parents and siblings leave and sometimes not come back, they are playing video games, and repeating information they overhear to their peers at the playground. They know about war. The children growing up in the United States now only know a world in which U.S. soldiers are fighting overseas. They do not know war like the Iraqis know war. They cannot imagine what it is like in Afghanistan for the people who live there. This book, and others like it, offer the children a unique perspective they may not find in many other places. This book gently describes the fear, the danger, the humanity, the desperation involved in war. It is very very gentle. The child is also able to relate to the people of Iraq, instead of always being asked to other them.

If you are curious about children’s books that describe war, you might also check into Alice Walker’s Why War is Never a Good Idea. This one is less gentle. The images really show you something about war, and it is not something anyone wants to see. It will also be more controversial, I am sure. There are many arguments that people will make for what does make war a necessary, though deplorable thing. With both books, adults should read them first and think about how they will discuss them with children before they sit down and do it. I know some people are also upset with the Librarian book, but it is truly ridiculous. It is a great story. It presents a truth. An important truth and an incredible, real woman. It does not disrespect America, our soldiers, or Americans, as has been suggested.

I have decided to give this book to my dearest Librarian, Sarah, because I know she will love it too. She has a child on the way, but I am hoping that by the time her kid is old enough to read this book it will be unnecessary. I chose this book to get rid of because I went to my local library the other day and “renewed” my library card. I use parenthesis because I got my card the first week of my first year of college and never used it for years. I never even went back to the library. Libraries terrify me. I cannot tell you why. They should be my heaven on earth and probably will be eventually. Free books for days. Now, I get shy, anxious, and nervous. My friends, Tracy and Lynne, went with me the other day. I got my library card and three books. The Shock Doctrine, a book on rats, and another book on animal emotions. I chose books quickly because the library was about to close, but I am pretty excited to get started on all of them. You get a good, long time too. Three weeks. Who knew?

Thanks for the pictures, Lynne!

Creationists

Creationists: Selected Essays 1993-2006 by E.L. Doctorow
2007
Weight: 8 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating



Creationists was great. Doctorow writes about Poe, Clemmons, Hemmingway, Stowe, Kafka, Melville, and many other renown authors, but he does it in a new way. There is a mixture of historical information, biography, criticism, praise, and individual connectedness to each essay. Did you know Stowe had 9 children and an overbearing (read: abusive) husband when she wrote Uncle Tom’s Cabin, which sold only second to the Bible in its time.

At a time where I am almost constantly thinking about mortality, this book was kind of perfect. Let me know if you want it! Thanks for passing it on, Mom!

Bitch Bundle

And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell, Illustrated by Henry Cole. 2005.
The Sissy Duckling by Harvey Fierstein, Illustrated by Henry Cole. 2002.
Chick-Lit: Postfeminist Fiction Edited by Chris Mazza and Jeffrey DeShell. 2000.
Weight: 2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donating to Bitch Media Community Lending Library http://bitchmagazine.org/donate-to-the-library



I just finished reading Chick-Lit, a book I bought at the 2006 Writer’s Festival at Agnes Scott College. I bought it, on-sale, on the last day of the festival. I wanted to read a collection of women writers and this seemed like an obvious place to start. I was also uncomfortable with the use of “postfeminist” and felt that I should read it to try to see how it fit. Then my much admired creative writing professor walked by and said I should get it, without knowing any of my thoughts. That finished any inner-debate I had. I handed over the cash and took the book home, along with a large stack of others. I read through most of them, but this one got lost in the moves and was not opened again until last week.

The title is intended as a joke, a mockery. According to the author, this is the first time “chick-lit” is used in print, but it is now considered to be a subset of writing that is often printed, read, and discussed. This chik-lit is notorious for being shallow. Or, as it is described on Wikipedia, “Chick lit is genre fiction which addresses issues of modern womanhood, often humorously and lightheartedly.” This book is nothing like that. It is a collection of women’s experimental short fiction.

I, personally, love experimental fiction. I know it can be frustrating in the wrong hands, but it is intriguing just the same. I found myself with so many mixed emotions when reading this collection, depending on the author I was reading. During several stories, I debated whether or not I could let this book go and then in many others I wanted to throw it across the room and into the recycling bin. Incest, sex, and assault became so common that they became boring in the context of some of the stories. Those topics should really never feel boring, in my opinion.
I guess I would light to highlight some of the stories. Jan Nystrom’s “The Young Lady Who Fell From a Star” offered yet another story to surround The Wizard of Oz. It was fun to read, and it read like it was fun to write. I was tempted to try something similar just for my personal pleasure. I have been the person in Kim Addonizo’s “Reading.” I appreciated her shout-outs to the New Yorker and A.M. Homes, both beloved reading to me. I really liked Peggy Shinner’s “Our Bodies Spoke in Tongues,” though sometimes it felt too drawn out. Shinner writes, “Do I say when I say we had sex last night that I was afraid of feeling aroused? That I was afraid of the feelings arousal would arouse? Do I say when I say we had sex last night that I was afraid I’d forgotten how? That I would touch you in the wrong place? The wrong way? That I would do it incorrectly?”

In Lara Anderson Love’s story, “Skittles,” she writes about a woman who needs board games to live her life. She is married to someone who must play games with her all week to prove his love for her and to make all the major decisions of their life together. This was a great idea, and it was the first time in awhile that I had not wanted to toss the book out and was invested in the outcome of the story. I was sneaking around, avoiding people who might interrupt me, and trying to read it.

Now, after that long rant, we are at the obvious question about this bundle. How do the two children books fit? I decided to donate Chick Lit to Bitch and while I was checking to make sure they did not already have it I saw a list of things they wanted. I do not have a lot of DIY books, but I do have a lot of children’s books. I decided to give them two of my prized children’s books because they asked for them.
My brother bought me And Tango Makes Three in 2005, and I thought it was such a loving gesture. I am, obviously, queer-fabulous, and I love penguins. It is about the two male penguins, Roy and Silo, at the Central Park Zoo, who raised their own chick together. Tango was that chick. It was such a great gift, so thoughtful. I never thought I would give it up, and I probably wouldn’t have if I had not seen someone ask for it directly. Someone who would put it in a library and share it with others. It is finding the perfect home.

I bought The Sissy Duckling on one of my many adventures to Charis, the feminist bookstore in Little 5 Points. I love that place. I also loved seeing a book that went beyond having two dads or two moms and started skimming the surface of gender identity. The duck is never proclaimed gay. He is proclaimed a “Sissy.” He is not into stereotypical male behaviors, and he is a disappointment to his dad. He is having a rough time growing up, but then he saves his father’s life and they bond over things the Sissy Duckling enjoys. The dad stands up for his kid in the end, and the kid goes on later in life to meet others like him.

Any who, I will be sending these three books off next week. I hope the people at Bitch Media are excited to get them!

Star Light Star bright

Witness Iraq: A War Journal February-April 2003
2003
Weight: 3.3 lbs
Method of Disposal: Donate?



My brother went to war in Iraq when I was in my junior year of college, and I was devastated. I felt like I lived in a state of panic, and it was hard to discuss it with some of my anti-war peers. My roommate at the time actually got angry with me when I asked to watch my brother on the news one night, because it cut into her ER time. She grumbled something about him killing people for a living. I hadn’t seen my brother in a year, and he would be on television for just a few minutes.
There were plenty of supportive and caring people, more than there were people like my roommate, but it seemed like no one really understood what I was trying to tell them if they hadn’t been through it. I only knew one other person, my dearest Liz M, who had a brother deploy and come back.

When someone you love is at war you become hyper-aware of locations and casualties mentioned on the news. You notice when there are gaps in email and chat messages. You send hundreds of letters, and you may even find yourself wishing on every falling star you see, drinking every shot with a “return home safe” toast, and pleading with the universe every time the clock strikes 11:11.

If you are me, you lack any tools on how to deal with the situation. You might start to do absurd things like purchase random books you really don’t want or watch documentaries you know you shouldn’t. Witness Iraq was one of those purchases. I didn’t want to see it, much less own it, but I felt compelled. I couldn’t stop myself. It was an absurd attempt to get closer to someone who seemed impossibly far away. It would not be the first or last time I would try to buy understanding, time, and proximity with no success. I have trouble letting this book go, even though I can never bring myself to look through it now, because of all the pain it and others like it hold within their pages. It seems important to have a constant reminder of that fear and worry, but I really don’t know why. It cannot be healthy.
My brother is currently safe and sound, with his baby and his wife, in the country he grew up in. It is still such a relief, though I always feel a twinge of dread in my gut reminding me that it could happen again. I find myself, still, quite enamored with and dependent on eyelashes, ladybugs, wells, dandelions, and birthday candles.