Indecent

Indecent: How I Make it and Fake it as a Girl for Hire  by Sarah Katherine Lewis
2006
Weight: 12.8 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving Somewhere

I loved this book.  It felt so good to be reading something I loved again.  I feel like I have spent far too long just reading books that are okay or worse.  It is funny because I picked it up and put it back on the shelf countless times before I actually read it.  I do have a fascination with the sex industry, which is why I bought it, but I also have a reasonable bad taste in my mouth for books about it.  So often I have picked up a book to learn it was written by someone "undercover" or someone who stripped for a year with the intention of writing a book or someone who has no writing skills what-so-ever or whatever.  The shock value is there so the story can be lacking.  I thought this book would be more of the same.

It wasn't.  Lewis had me hooked when she talked about playing the game Whore as a child and when she worried that she was too chubby for sex work.  So often, I have thought about it and thought I am too fat, too unattractive, too old, too whatever.  I felt an instant connection.  Then she began talking about the confidence it gave her and I was enthralled.  I wished I had done it.  She went from one job to the next with a desire to learn and a strong work ethic.  As the book and her life went on, she seemed to grow increasingly angry and violent minded.  I questioned if I would have ever been strong enough for it.  I did not feel lied to.  I felt comfortable in the place where I could look at sex work as sex work.  She did not class it as a magical kingdom where feminists romp naked and feel wonderful about themselves while raking in the money, but she did not make it out to be the evil of the world that must be purged either.  She talked about things like confidence and fear, feminism and fuckery, with what seemed like a sincerity I could trust.

I did get to the end of the book and feel like somewhat of a customer though.  Was I being the oh-so-dreaded relater?  I would be lying if I acted like I never got turned on while reading it, which is bizarre because there was not a lot to be turned on about.  The book was full of nasty smelling jizz, sticky environments, and deplorable people.  She kept the reader at arms length.  She showed us a lot about the sex industry, but she never let us get close to her outside of her work.  We do not know what she does for fun, anything about her friends who don't do sex work, that she has a brother until the acknowledgements, what she spends her money on, and why should we?  We have come to learn about sex work, after all.  She are reminded throughout the book that she will not give out too much information in order to be safe.  She tells us each time she starts a new job.

Any who, I loved it and I thank her for being bold enough to do it, write about it, and share it with the world.  I think I will seek out this sex and bacon book I am seeing all the reviewers of Indecent rave about.

p.s. Sarah Katherine Lewis, you are right.  Hemmingway does suck.

Coral Reefs

Coral Reefs: Exploring the World Below  by Joseph Wallace

Photographs by Waterhouse

1995

Weight: 1.4 lbs

Method of Disposal: Donation

It is that time of the year again.  All of the volunteers are returning from their vacations and coming to help us at the shelter, which is great and only slightly depressing because they come with stories about all the exciting things they have done and sun tans to prove it.  It makes me crave salt water and sand, waterfalls and rivers, villas and unusual flora/fauna.  I am still doing the same thing I do year round.  I see a few brave cardinals around the shelter and a thousand clueless blue-tailed lizards.  I see pine trees and poison ivy.  I see the same twelve people almost every day of my life and, despite how wonderful it all is, I would really REALLY like to get away.  These things should not be so unattainable.  Unfortunately, you need money to take time off work.  One day?

If that day ever comes I want to go diving—in a careful way, without destroying things—and then spend all day at the beach reading, writing, laughing, drinking, doing whatever the hell I want. 

Last year I did get the chance to go to Colorado for a whirlwind 3 day trip complete with a 4 am trip to the airport.  I looked all over for wildlife.  I thought I would see a moose, if not the bear and the fox he had seen a month before.  I didn’t  but apparently, while I was gone, a deer wandering onto shelter property and caused quite the ruckus. 

The Diagnosis

The Diagnosis By Alan Lightman
2002
Weight: 11 oz
Method of Disposal: Giving Away or donating

Creepy picture, yes?

I am on a rare long weekend (short vacation) from work, and it is so delightful, beyond wonderful. I am euphoric. I like the trees more. I notice the sky more. I laugh and smile more. It would be kind of sad if I weren’t so damn happy. I mean, that not being at work makes me feel this fucking good. I am spoiling myself too. I cannot afford it, but I cannot stop myself. This “vacation” (what’s the stupid slang word? Staycation?) being so unusual. I previously had purchased a Groupon for a massage with a friend. We had scheduled it for today. We went, we relaxed, we ate a ton of sushi. Does life get much better?

It is so disheartening and deadening to go into work all the time and do the same things every day, though most Americans do. For years and years and years. We may never be able to retire, depending on our career. As of now, it is not looking so good for my old age. My body is disintegrating with the physical demands, though I am passionate about what I do. My money situation is no good and there is no chance to save for the future. Yes, I realize I should not have put all that money out there today and yesterday, but sometimes mental health needs to take priority. I will sell some things, dog sit, and do some odd jobs in an attempt to make up the difference. I think of a someecard.com card I have hanging over my computer. “When work feels overwhelming, remember that you’re going to die.”

In that vein, I am getting rid of The Diagnosis by Alan Lightman. It was not one of my favorite books of his, but I did like it. It seems that many people felt the same. The most disappointed reviews I have read were by people hoping for a medical thriller. I was not thinking that at all when I went into it. I just read that a man loses his memory on his train commute to work. All he can think of is the company slogan, “the maximum information in the minimum amount of time.” And I thought, how sad, to do be deadened by the routine. I felt like it was an analogy for many people’s mundane lives. As I read, I vaguely remember thinking that his brain shut down to protect him from his boring, overworked self. The problems really start when his memory comes back, after all.

Oddly enough, the book did not achieve its full potential because, while the character seems like he would be a guy you could relate to or feel something for (no matter what it is), you really do not. The character development is weak. The other problem, for me, is that I had expected something else from Lightman. It is not his fault, but I wanted another Einstein’s Dreams or even a Reunion. If you have any desire to own this book, free of charge, please let me know as soon as possible.

Whores and Other Feminists

Whores and Other Feminists edited by Jill Nagle
1997
Weight: 12 oz
Method of Disposal: Selling



This book was much better than my last attempt to read about feminism and the sex industry. I started reading this book about 4 years ago, on a plane going to Chicago, and I finally finished it about 4 months ago. The second time I picked it up I could not put it down. I have been very reluctant to get rid of it. There were definitely segments of the book that I found less than impressive and some that really irritated me but, for the most part, I was smitten. I still want so much more, but I recommend that you put this on your reading list, amongst others. There isn’t enough written on the topic by people in the industry, but the genre seems to be growing all the time. Side note: I am still sad you are gone, Spread Magazine.
I will break the book down as quickly as possible. After the preface, introduction, and acknowledgements you are put into the world of the peep show and how it feels for one woman to work within it. Then, you meet a feminist who loves to write pornographic stories. The third piece is Cosi Fabian describing why she is “proud—and happy—to be called ‘whore’” (53). Ann Renee has a short piece about wanting “to fuck the world.” Nina Hartley writes about porn and the adult entertainment industry. She talks to us about her exploration of sex and how important having a good sex life can be. She is an adventurer and a teacher. Annie Sprinkle offers a valuable and short chapter on how to fight of sex worker burn out syndrome.

And then we are on to part 2, and it just gets better. This section gets more into a larger-scale portrait of sex work. It gets into the structures, legal, social, and in pop culture. In “Love for Sale” Eve Pendleton writes, accurately, that “sex workers provide a powerful indictment of gender roles by demanding payment for playing them: feminism would be transformed and strengthened by incorporating this analysis” (81). I also agree with Priscilla Alexander who writes, “I believe as long as women are arrested for the crime of being sexually assertive, for standing on the street without a socially acceptable purpose or a male chaperone, I am not free” (84).

The 3rd section is dedicated to “reversal, subversion, and re-vision.” We get to read about male prostitution, BDSM, feminist pornography, the Mustang Ranch, and a butch Gigolette with a wonderful guide to “negotiating your desires.” One of my least favorite pieces was contained in part 3, and it was about the Mustang Ranch. Some things about it rubbed me the wrong way. Monet always wanted to go to the Ranch and so one day a boyfriend brought her. The women at the Ranch were less than welcoming. First, she expresses disappointment that they had to choose from women who were o.k. with a couple, and she “wondered why didn’t get to pick girl from the traditional lineup” (168). She later states that she wishes she could have been treated like a male customer and mentions the lineup again saying she couldn’t take part in the usual “just because some of the girls think eating pussy is gross” (168). She realized “homophobia was alive and well in the desert” (168). Then she talks about wanting to rescue the woman she eventually has her fantasy with. Luckily, that need to rescue is later turned into a need to educate and gain sex worker’s rights. She realizes that sex work is worth everything you might be asked to spend, and she values the experience. The last paragraph of the essay is great. The stuff before it is frustrating. I believe she ran into homophobia at the Ranch, but I think it is perfectly acceptable for a woman not to want to have sex with other women and to claim that as a boundary she is not willing to cross. We should all have a say in who we sleep with so I did not understand her level of irritation and the idea of rescuing disturbed me, but she immediately recovered from that. Overall, I got very little from this particular essay.

The 4th section is about “myth, stigma, and silence.” Stacy Reed exposes common myths about strip clubs and strippers. She writes that she was safer at the clubs than in her own home (186). A fat sex phone operator talks about how she worries about the political implications of what she does and admits to acting thinner over the phone, but she also writes that "Sex work has taught me that I own my body. It has taught me that sex is a choice. That work is a choice. That what is attractive about me is not a lie. That telling stories gives me power. (190). She says, "Sex work is like real life. Only straighter. And thinner" (190). And, ultimately, therein lies the problem with sex work. It is not better than the rest of the world. It is a part of it. Sexism, racism, ableism become a part of it because they are a part of larger society. Sex work and pornography do not create those problems, but they can be infiltrated by them--just like everything else.

Then we hear from a sex-positive dike writer. That is followed by a discussion about women of color in sex work, which exposes the racism that is not escaped by working in a “fringe” job. 6 women have a discussion about what it is like to work in the industry, and they are all from different backgrounds and have different experiences. In chapter 22, an ex-LAPD officer left her job after 10 years and becomes involved with sex work. She was burnt out and horrified by the abuses she saw other officers committing, some officers were even busted having sex with minors as young as 10 years old (213). After becoming a call girl, she would get arrested and experience the fear of being detained first hand. She was working on a book to expose the abuses within the LAPD, and that made a lot of people unhappy with her. She ends her essay with this statement, “I am one prostitute that no one and nothing can silence—not eighteen months in prison, not the women of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women, not an apathetic media, and certainly not the police!” (216). I, for one, am glad to hear it.

The 4th section ends with another piece by Monet where she describes being outside of the industry and then inside of it. She talks about the importance of words. Specifically, “slut” and “whore.” She writes, “If we as feminists use these words to stigmatize some women—any women—then we are part of the problem. We must embrace these labels or we will continue to be controlled by them. One need not be a sex worker to experience being a bad girl; one can simply refuse to wear the label of the good girl, and let people assume she is sexually experienced, forward, and promiscuous, even if she is not” (222). Agreed.

The final section is on “Activism, Intervention, and Alliance.” The Scarlet Harlot tells us about her invention of the term “sex work.” Lyndall Maccowan interviews Denise Turner about organizing and worker demands in a massage parlor. We are then led into the scary world of Men Against Pornography and what it means to be a sex-positive male feminist. Teri Goodson writes about being a part of NOW despite the stigma that surrounds sex work in the organization and Siobhan Brooks writes about racism at the lusty lady, a petition, and her push for change. Joan Kennedy Taylor discusses the Sex Wars and a woman’s right to pornography.

All of this is followed by an appendix of “organizations for sex worker support, advocacy, education, and professional advancement” (259). It is dated information, and I could not find all of the groups that were listed. I was particularly sad about not being able to track down the Atlanta based group. Plenty of the groups are still around though, so you should take a look and find other, new ones. As you can tell, with this break down, this book covers a lot of ground in under 300 pages. It is well worth your time. There is a lot to learn!

There is so much talk, lately, about sex trafficking and child slavery. Movies, books, sting/bust shows, radio interviews, and new legislation can be found at every turn. It is important to protect children from being kidnapped and sold for sex. That is one of the more deplorable things you hear about, and it must be combated. But let’s make sure we do not conflate that issue with the adult, consensual, selling of sex. The sex industry is an umbrella for all types of people and all sorts of work. It is complicated, but the one thing we know is that people need more protections and more respect. We also know that sex workers are human beings, with lives, friends, and family members. They are not separate entities who deserve abuse, arrest, and contempt.

Check out this shit:

http://colorlines.com/archives/2011/03/federal_civil_rights_suit_challenges_louisianas_felony_sex_work_law.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+racewireblog+%28ColorLines%29

Let’s do something about it. Any ideas?

Illuminating the Sex Industry

RENT GIRL WRITTEN BY MECHELLE TEA AND ILLUSTRATED BY LAURENN MCCUBBIN
2004
Weight: 1.5 lbs
Method of Disposal: Giving to Tracy



I received an e-mail from SPREAD magazine yesterday in which they explained that they would no longer be able to publish in that form due to financial troubles. They wrote about how it is difficult for any magazine, newspaper, journal to exist now. SPREAD was created by an all-volunteer crew that kept on keeping on for five years, and I love the whole half century.

I stumbled upon the first issue while shopping at my favorite local feminist sex shop, Aphrodite’s Toy Box. I was hooked. I bought a couple more issues at Charis Feminist Bookstore, and then I went ahead and subscribed. I even got a nifty pink shirt with the silhouette of a person on it. I loved all of it. I am very sad to see them go the way most print seems to be going. It still feels like it was not that long ago when the amazing ON OUR BACKS quit printing their magazines. I don’t want to let go.

The mantra of SPREAD is “illuminating the sex industry,” and that is what they attempted to do through the publication and art showings in New York City. There were articles about and by strippers, prostitutes, call girls, escorts, johns, customers, so on and so forth. I believe they tried very hard to be inclusive and accessible. Have I mentioned yet that I loved them? The Sex Industry IS something that needs to be illuminated. People need to be safe in their professions and protected as human beings. We all deserve respect and decency, but we won’t get there if we ignore a large component of our population, or worse, persecute them.
I am letting RENT GIRL go today in honor of the good five years of writing, comics, and wonderfulness that came out of those volunteers who created and maintained SPREAD magazine. I enjoyed reading the graphic novel a lot when I first bought it while I was in college. I still enjoy flipping it open to a random page and checking in on what is happening. I think it helped with the overall illuminating of the sex industry, and I highly recommend it. I never imagined there would be a day when I would let it go, but here we are.

I bid farewell to SPREAD magazine, unless someone out there has $30,000 to donate to them. They did mention that they might publish a book in the future. If they do, I might have to break all the rules and go buy it.