America the Beautiful by Moon Unit Zappa
Weight: 12 oz
Method of Disposal: Donation
I have been fostering a three week-old kitten for three days now, and I still do not have a name for her despite my manager asking me about it through text message at random times during the day. I am thinking about it, but I want it to be wonderful. It does not matter how often I name animals it is always important and special to me. Usually, I get vetoed and when I don’t people grumble about the dog named “Medvedev” for weeks. My own dogs were named by my ex-girlfriend, with the exception of Phoenix—who I named when I was in 9th grade and I bet you could tell. My car is named Alexandra (and the one before her was Athena) and my GPS is Vetica. I like names. I really like irregular names. I dream of naming a sibling duo Amoeba and Paramecium, but I am always shot down.
I picked up America the Beautiful after my coworker/dear friend/girl who would read me Curious George pointed it out. She was thinking about buying it because Moon Unit is the daughter of Frank Zappa. I bought it mostly because the author’s name was Moon Unit and the main character was named America Throne. I should have known I would not enjoy it when I saw that the two review quotes on the back of the book were made by Alanis Morisette and Diane Leslie, author of FLEUR DE LEIGH’S LIFE OF CRIME? Or when I read the first sentence of the description. “America Throne is living the good life in L.A. Her career is sprouting, and she is in love—with Jasper Husch, a sexy-sultry artist from San Fran.” I feel like I was just punched in the stomach. Do you feel that?
Fortunately or unfortunately, there are plenty of people in the world that would love to read this book so I am donating it—unless any of you poor souls would like it. If you do, let me know soon and I will get it to you free of charge.
As for the baby kitten, I am thinking up a stream of not so irregular names with the help of friends and family. Just to list a few: Raika, Chicago, Millie, Mona, Lola. I do not know why, but I think it is suppose to be Millie even though I have been resisting it. A quick Google search says the name means industrious, strong, and brave. She IS all of those things, after all. Thank goodness it did not say “sweet” or I would have to throw that name out forever. To give credit where credit is due, Millie was thought up by my mother.