Thursday, October 28, 2010
"Stupid Jokes That Unicorns Do Not Find Funny"--page 90
Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSeeney’s Book of Lists by the editors of McSweeney’s
Weight: 8. 5 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving somewhere in Decatur, GA
I have so much love for McSweeney’s. So much that I feel I need to make a confession now…I just renewed my subscription despite the fact that I have no money and even though it must be a sin that goes against everything I am trying to do on this blog. I mean, I am getting rid of my books even as I have McSweeney’s arriving on my doorstep. I will let you know when I resolve this personal and moral dilemma.
It is because of this love that I purchased this book of lists last year. It is also because I read the most wondrous list of Chuck Norris facts in a Best American Nonrequired Reading collection around that time. Here is an example, “Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.” Which reminds me of the #1 Chuck Norris fan who always came into Waldenbooks looking for a new Norris book, but she never bought anything because there never was a new Norris book—but that is a whole other blog, I guess.
Overall, I did not find this book to be as hilarious as I expected, but it still had some excellent moments. I did not plan to get rid of it, and I have fond feelings for it. I am disbanding it now out of guilt about the free item I got from McSweeney’s for re-subscribing, which is, in fact, a bundle of three books that weigh about a pound.
I cannot remember my favorite lists so I will give you two random lists from the book to ponder.
1. NAMES THAT COULD POSSIBLY PASS FOR CRIES OF PASSION IF ACCIDENTALLY YELLED DURING SEX WITH ANYONE NOT SO NAMED by Emily Lloyd (p.15)
• Aaliyah , Maura, Ewan, Osgood, Deepak, Uma, Ja Rule, Moe
2. FOUR WAYS MY LIFE IS LIKE PAC-MANS by John Crownover (p.111)
• Ever-present wail of sirens
• Relentlessly pursued by ghosts
• Occasionally eat some fruit
• Four special pills a day keep ghosts at bay