Mortally Wounded: Stories of Soul Pain, Death and Healing by Michael Kearney, M.D.
1996
Weight:8.8 oz
Method of Disposal: Lending Library
There used to be this magical place called Kudzu where you could buy all sorts of books for next to nothing. I got this book there back in the 90’s. I’m sure I got a whole box of books that day and, for whatever reason, this one was lost to the abyss. It has multiple fluorescent stickers on it. $1.50–Books Sold by the Inch.
I would have been a teenager. What would this book have meant to me then? It is hard to imagine. We spoke a lot about death. In our depressed, angsty, teenage ways. One of our friends died by suicide. We thought we knew all about it. We knew nothing.
I still know nothing though, as I get older, I can see death all around me. Coming for me, coming for those I love. Coming for those loved by those I love. Coming for strangers. Sometimes, late at night, this overwhelms me and I become increasingly anxious and scared. Sometime I think this offers a respite to how exhausting (though wonderful, painful, interesting, exhilarating, confusing) life can be. Sometimes I just want to be able to be better about sitting with my grieving friends and family members and allowing them a safe space to grieve when they need a friend. I thought, I study everything else I don’t understand, why not this? I want to get more comfortable with death.
So, when I found time to read I read Mortally Wounded and when I couldn’t physically read I listened to The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully by Frank Ostaseski. This was a good combination for me. They both have written from their extensive experience working with the dying and with the families of those who are dying/who have died. Frank came across with such kindness and calmness. I felt calm. I felt open. I felt both authors’ compassion.
I am not done at all. I have a whole stack of books to read. I’m not sure what that will really get me, but it seems like a good place to start. It is definitely a more comfortable place to start. I guess I just hope I have the time to read them and think them through and that death gets no closer in the meantime. There’s no way to know. That’s the scary part. The people you love can be taken from you at any time and there’s no going back. Here I am. Working myself up before bed again.
Good night, folks.
1996
Weight:8.8 oz
Method of Disposal: Lending Library
There used to be this magical place called Kudzu where you could buy all sorts of books for next to nothing. I got this book there back in the 90’s. I’m sure I got a whole box of books that day and, for whatever reason, this one was lost to the abyss. It has multiple fluorescent stickers on it. $1.50–Books Sold by the Inch.
I would have been a teenager. What would this book have meant to me then? It is hard to imagine. We spoke a lot about death. In our depressed, angsty, teenage ways. One of our friends died by suicide. We thought we knew all about it. We knew nothing.
I still know nothing though, as I get older, I can see death all around me. Coming for me, coming for those I love. Coming for those loved by those I love. Coming for strangers. Sometimes, late at night, this overwhelms me and I become increasingly anxious and scared. Sometime I think this offers a respite to how exhausting (though wonderful, painful, interesting, exhilarating, confusing) life can be. Sometimes I just want to be able to be better about sitting with my grieving friends and family members and allowing them a safe space to grieve when they need a friend. I thought, I study everything else I don’t understand, why not this? I want to get more comfortable with death.
So, when I found time to read I read Mortally Wounded and when I couldn’t physically read I listened to The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully by Frank Ostaseski. This was a good combination for me. They both have written from their extensive experience working with the dying and with the families of those who are dying/who have died. Frank came across with such kindness and calmness. I felt calm. I felt open. I felt both authors’ compassion.
I am not done at all. I have a whole stack of books to read. I’m not sure what that will really get me, but it seems like a good place to start. It is definitely a more comfortable place to start. I guess I just hope I have the time to read them and think them through and that death gets no closer in the meantime. There’s no way to know. That’s the scary part. The people you love can be taken from you at any time and there’s no going back. Here I am. Working myself up before bed again.
Good night, folks.
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