Getting Away With Murder: Weapons for the War Against
Domestic Violence Raoul Felder and
Barbara Victor
1997
Weight: 9.3 oz
Method of Disposal:Left at a Kroger in Duluth
I was sucked into this book right away, as I am with all
progressive books about domestic violence.
I did question the usefulness of reading the nonfiction books I bought
in the 90’s at this point in time. I
couldn’t help but wonder if I should only be reading things that were written
more recently if I was not trying to do a chronological comparison. It has been about 15 years! What has changed and what hasn’t? It was scary to recognize how little we have
progressed all of these years later, though we have made some improvements.
I think about the times when I have called the police
because of domestic violence, whether that is with my friends or neighbors, and
how many times I have been disappointed.
It was not all that long ago that my friend and I were in contact with
the police about a crime taking place next door. It took hours for them to show up even though
the couple was fighting in the front yard.
By the time they came it was quiet and they just slowly drove by with
their lights off. They did not get out
of the vehicle, they obviously did not knock on the door, they did not question
us. You know? Murder can be very quiet once it is
done. It was infuriating.
I use to volunteer for a domestic violence organization and
when we spoke to the county police they were so understanding and
supportive. I believed in them, and I
still believe in the officers that came to speak to us. Unfortunately, one of them just retired. I was so disappointed in the ones that “showed
up” that night.
In another county, my friend’s boyfriend was arrested for
domestic violence. He was released the
next day, and she was not notified. He
kicked down her door and left a note with a butcher’s knife laying on top of
it. I called the police, and they said I
needed to contact his probation officer.
I called him, and he said the guy had to communicate with her in order
to get in trouble and that he had not done that. Can you think of a more clear
communication?! She paid for that
apartment all by herself, with no help from him, and she was not safe
there. She had to come stay with me.
I am disappointed.
This book made a lot of pushes and suggestions that made me
uncomfortable. I am not naming it as the
end all be all, but it does have a lot of really good information. I am not sure what the solution is, but I
agree that we need to focus on what the abusers are doing wrong and how they
came to be and not just the people who suffer their violence.
***In a strange twist of fate, a friend of mine dropped by
for dinner last night. I ended this blog
post when she knocked on my door. We
went out with another friend for frozen yogurt, vegetarian reubens, and some
beer. Her boyfriend called us while we
were all hanging out and said that a woman and her baby had just come to the
apartment seeking shelter from her boyfriend.
He had let her in but did not have any way to call the police. He only had access to Skype, and you cannot
make 911 calls. We called the police,
left the restaurant, and went to her apartment.
The police came just under an hour later, handcuffed him, and took him
to jail. He will either be bailed out or
stay in jail until his court date. The
woman began to regret her decision to call, but the police took him
anyway. This is not an unusual or bad
reaction for a woman to have, but I was pleased that the police went through
with the arrest. I do not know what will
happen from here, but I hope it works out for all parties involved.***
