Thursday, February 13, 2014

Autobiography of a Fat Bride

Autobiography of a Fat Bride
Weight: 7.2 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving Somewhere

My wait is almost over, but it could not end soon enough.  The closer I get the more anxious I am for it to get here.  Our visa has been approved, but it is like I cannot believe it until I see it.  Hopefully, she will be here by the end of February!  Is there a better Valentine's gift than that?

I guess it is pretty obvious why I chose this book.  It is going to be me soon!  And I have 6 hours and 8 minutes of songs on my Wedding Mix to help us get through the long ass drive to DC and back that we will be making twice.  

I bought this book, originally, because I had read Notaro's others.  It is a rare thing that comedy/humor makes me laugh, but when she did I would be in tears and sometimes, no matter how embarassed I was, I could really relate.  

Here is Notaro on a visit to the gynecologist:

"Dont worry about children now," my doctor said as she laughed mockingly at me.  "You're not even married."

"I'm getting married...soon," I explained hesitantly. "And I don't want to have a newborn when I'm so old we can sleep in cribs next to each other."

She laughed harder.

"Let's wait and see if your marriage works out first," she scolded me. "It's no fun being a single parent."

Her comment felt like the slap of my mom's flip-flop to the side of my head.  What?  I thought as I looked at her.  What did you just say?  My mother is the only one who has the right to pop my self esteem with a harpoon like that.  You don't have that right!  You've only seen me naked! (34)

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