Zami: A New Spelling of My Name

 Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde
1982
Weight: 14 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

I am currently on a little bit of an Audre Lorde kick and have just re-read Zami: A New Spelling of my name.  One thing I absolutely love about Audre Lorde is that she is so seemingly honest and raw.  She is open about things that many people would keep private.  I think about her walking the streets with a knife in her coat, not knowing what she is doing or why, but disgruntled with upset about a recent breakup and her girlfriend finding a new partner.  This is not okay, and she knows this is not okay.  She does nothing with that knife, and she admits to having done it in her biography.  She writes about being a woman loving woman and a black woman in a time when that was even more shunned, ostracized, and legislated against than it is now.  She talks about trying to form a triatic relationship when no one around her was doing that and how it, ultimately, failed because no one in the relationship really knew themselves all that well.  We read about heterosexual feminists who cannot accept lesbianism or queerness of any sort.  They have no room in the movement.  Lorde writes about the anguish of losing her childhood bestfriend.  A friend that came to her for help and who she was unable to help at that time due to her fear of her parents anger.  She had no idea that meant her friend would end up dying by suicide, but it haunts her into adulthood.  She did not realize the abuse that friend was enduring at the hands of an adult man.  And yet, she also shows us beauty, determination, strength, and a will to fight and live.  

There is so much packed into this biography about race, class, coming of age, being a woman, loving women and people hating it, loving sex.  It ends with Lorde still in her twenties, and she still had so much life left to live.  She would pass away at 58, battling cancer, but she packed so much in to the next thirty or so years, and she left the world a more beautiful, empowered place.

I am now re-reading Sister Outsider.  I always appreciate the context Zami gives me for the rest of Lorde's work.

On Our Backs Guide to Lesbian Sex

 On Our Backs Guide to Lesbian Sex edited by Diana Cage
2004
Weight: 1.12 lbs
Method of Disposal: Who knows?  Seriously, who knows what I can do?

I never know how to rehome sex books.  All the guides, erotica, and photography.  There are so many great books I am sure someone out there would devour, but I never know how to get them from Point A to Point B.  I do not want to sell them, and I do not want them to get thrown out if I donate them.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  I have recently discovered that in the UK you can recycle your sex toys.  It is a money losing proposition and yet Lovehoney will do it.  Amazing.  

This particular sex guide is good in that it covers a lot of ground.  It takes you from cunnilingus, to fisting, to strap ons, to needles, to fire, to being fat and sexy, to being disabled and enjoying sex, to pornography, to tribadism.  All sorts.  You will get a good basic definition, some first hand accounts, some reminders about consent, and some photos.  For some people, the book seems to be too blunt and outspoken, but that is what Off Your Backs was for.  It pushed the borders of normal and celebrated the erotic without being curbed by the societal pressure to hold back.

That being said, if you are not a beginner and have not shied away from the risqué, there is not much here to learn at this point.  Or maybe, I have just oversaturated myself with sex, bdsm, kink information over the years.  This book is now over a decade old, and it shows in some areas.  The parts about online dating and the pornography recommendations are just two areas I can think of.  I also think, if done now, there would be even more about consent, safe words, gender fluidity, more sexualities represented...just more.

I will always appreciate Off Our Backs and this book still has an audience.  Hopefully, this book will find a new home and not end up in the landfill.  Someone that can handle profanity and diverse sexual desires.  Rest assured, it is your grandparent's, and possibly your parent's, worst nightmare.

The Sweet Smell of Psychosis

 The Sweet Smell of Psychosis: A Novella by Will Self
1999
Weight: 4 oz
Method of Disposal: Giving Away

This short novella was not an easy read!  I think I have picked it up and not been able to get into it several times over the years.  This time, I was on post-surgery drugs and so think I was better able to suspend reality and try to delve into it.  It was a real struggle though.  I think there was a certain timeframe where men could write anything they wanted about sex, aggression, force, drugs, alcohol and the more "disgusting" or "disturbing" they could be the better.  I went through that stage in college too, but it does not work for women.  It is much more desirable for men to be forceful, ejaculate, fuck, and blur the lines of reality.  Women exist to conquer and to cum all over.  I am not turned off by dirty sex or risque behavior.  I love good, consensual fun, but I do not think being graphic for no reason makes you an artist.  Obviously, a lot of other people feel quite different, so to each their own!  I did appreciate the drawings dotted throughout the books.  They really added to the dreamlike, alternate and fluid reality that I was suspended in as the reader.  Also, excellent title!

Laughable Loves

 Laughable Loves by Milan Kundera
1999
Weight: 9.1 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving in Lending Library

How is it that Milan Kundara was one of my favorite authors at some point?  I really did not enjoy this book at all.  I do think he is an excellent writer, but he treats women like trash and there is never a believable woman character.  They are all just receptacles for toxic masculinity and potentially ejaculate, depending on how successful the deplorable, inhumane male characters are.  I hated it.

The Letter Q

The Letter Q: Queer Writers' Notes to Their Younger Selves Edited by Sarah Moon
2012
Weight: 1.3 lbs
Method of Disposal: Lending Library

My most exciting discovery from this book was that Bruce Coville self-identified as bisexual and then queer in his essay.  I remember reading his books growing up.  I remember thinking that there was something very wrong with me and being so ashamed.  I remember realizing that I was attracted to women and thinking I might be the only girl to feel that way.  I was so jealous of my brother every step of the way.  Being a boy.  Staying out late.  Dating girls.  All along, gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, and transgender people were around me, leading the way, making a path, helping me survive, showing me another way, even when hidden behind the words on the pages of books about alien teachers and dragon hatchers in the books I stole from my brother's shelf.

This book is predominantly gay with a capital G.  A few dashes of lesbian.  And maybe a pinch of gender fluidity.  It, ultimately, aims to reassure kids that life will get better for them and that they are not alone.  What would I say to Little Laura?

Dear Laura,

I am proud of you and impressed with you for coming out when you did.  I know it is not always easy, and it will not always be easy.  But you learned to fake confidence when you were not feeling confident, and I think that likely saves you.  You will have your nose shattered, your car keyed, they will put pictures of dead gay people in your locker, say horrible things about you that you still cannot imagine ever saying about another human being, and ultimately they will make your car inoperable.  They will also call you ridiculous names that will make you laugh because they just show you how little they know about sex, pleasure, love, and happiness.  "Leg Licker" will stand out as a particularly ridiculous insult in a stream of insults..  Do not let these things break you.  You will want to let them break you.  You will meet plenty of girls and women that are interested in you.  You will inspire people even when you think no one is paying attention.

People are not at all wrong when they tell you that you will love college.  I know you struggle to believe that because you feel so alone and fit in nowhere, but it is true.  In college, all the things the middle schoolers and high schoolers hated about you will make people respect you and reach out to you.  Some people will want your advice.  You will actually, and I know this is hard to believe, be grateful for all that you went through, at least in some ways, because, while a lot of people are discovering who they are in college and going totally wild, you will feel safe in the security and knowledge that you already know who you are.

The person I most want to speak to is you in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade.  Your mom's friend will tell you that those will be the best years of your life some day and that you will miss them.  You struggle to believe that is true.  Your mom will tell you that she wishes she could tell you that people grow up and are more mature, but it is not true.  The difference, is that you grow up and are more mature.  More able to find your own people and set your own boundaries.  Your mom's friend is 100% wrong (making you 100% right--you are stuck in the worst time of your life), but your mom was right. 

Don't get me wrong, you still have a lot of terrible things to face.  I will warn you now never to drink in that dive bar by the school, or at least to get the fuck out when some random guy you do not know gives you the creeps.  Up until then, there is not much you regret but, if you do not get out of there, you will regret so much for so many years.  Everything else will make you who you are and make you stronger. 

You will never again feel that soul crushing loneliness.  You will never again think that you are so uniquely malformed and maladjusted that you do not deserve to live.  You need to live and you need to meet the woman you will give all of yourself to.  She will not be the woman of your dreams.  It turns out your dreams were extremely limiting and were holding you back.  She is far more amazing than anyone you could have ever thought up, and you spend plenty of wasted time trying to find that imaginary person until the beautiful year you spend finding her.  The good news is that all that trying is what prepares you to be the person she needs when you find her.

Anyway, I do not know what to tell you and what not to tell you that will pull you through those hard years.  I think the most important things are as follows:

1.  One day you will not only be okay with being a lesbian, you will be GRATEFUL for it.  You will not want to change it even if you could!  This part of yourself has sparked in you so much more.  You are caring, empathetic, active, passionate, loving, fighting, worthy, open, interested, intrigued, turned on, compassionate, ever-evolving.

2.  Do not start smoking.  Your mom is so right.  Once you start it IS next to impossible to stop.  And right now, you think you do not have much to live for, but one day you will have so much to live for that, instead of dancing with death, you will start to fear it.  Having been a smoker will not make this any easier.

3.  Get the fuck out of that bar when it starts to feel wrong.  You will be in your senior year of college.

4.  You will one day realize you were and are incredibly lucky.  Your parents are amazing (your dad is not what you think he is), you have friends that love you, and your partner is, as previously stated, incredible.  You have a not so small menagerie of dogs that follow you around and get jealous if you give your attention to anyone else.

5.  Stop with the suicidal whatever whatever.  You will one day realize that you are not just the oppressed but the oppressor.  You've had too much privilege to take it all and throw it away without unpacking it, examining it, and dedicating your life to making change.  You do not get to give up.  There is too much to fight for.

6. Masturbation is normal and wonderful.  I know it does not take you long to realize this, but just in case you need some help.

7.  Dana Scully really is that cool.  You will always think so. 

8.  If you can set your life up to where you and your family can hide away for the year 2020 and have enough food, supplies, money, etc.  Please God, do it.

I need you to be strong for me.  Hold tight.  There is so much more in you and in the world than you know.

Take care of you.

Laura

The Body Parts Shop: Stories

The Body Parts Shop: Stories by Lynda Schor
2005
Weight: 6.6 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

So...holy shit...I do not think I can put this is the tiny neighborhood lending library with the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Henke's young adult books about dogs, and every day housewive's mystery/romance novels.  I read the first two stories, and I thought, "this person is a genius."  I loved how the stories were arranged.  Fictional facts, real facts, blurbs, one story streaming through it all.  She was blunt, direct, and had some seriously beautiful sentences.  The third story, "Coming of Age," I thought, "what is this all about?  She's losing me, but I still appreciate how different she is from everyone else I have read recently."

As the stories went on the overt obsession with sex, penises, cum, rape, force, and violence actually started to wear on me a lot.  This is highly unusual because I like sex more than the average bear, and I like to be disturbed when reading fiction.  I also find myself writing stories with their own assortment of shocking scenes, but in this collection it just got to be too much.  It started to feel like the art was too reliant on the shock value.  It started to drag on and on. 

There were still moments where I was almost re-captivated, but the stories would always lose me before they ended.  There were stories I thought would be fantastic with a little more editing.  I think Lynda has what it takes, but I think she needs a little more polish.  Or, it was just not my cup of tea and it might be yours.  The title is perfect.  I love the drawings and diagrams.  It was risky.  It was fun.  It was also gross.  It was also sticky, thick, awkward, and sickening like a man ejaculating in your hair when you thought he was aiming for your mouth because he has an obsession with hair--yeah, that is one of the scenes you will find in this book, but the woman finds it exciting.  I am not that woman.

Timequake

Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut
1998
Weight: 8.8 oz
Method of Disposal: Lending Library

Okay.  After my previous post ranting and raving about how truly awesome and amazing and easy to read Kurt Vonnegut is and has always been, I read Timequake.  Soooooo.....not so great.  There were still many witty Vonnegut moments, snippets that made me laugh out loud, and, yes, even things I might consider tattooing on my body but, overall, not so great. 

Also, after recently talking about some of the delightful feminism I found in a couple of his other books, I was not feeling it so much in this one.  Not that he was overwhelmingly kind to men or women.  I was about done with all the penis jokes and imagery about halfway through the book.  While he is known for being blunt and fun and, so I do not fault him for this or think he does not have every right to do so, I was going to vomit if I had to hear anymore about anyone ejaculating in someone's birth canal--particularly in the instance of rape, which was clearly described as such but never called rape. 

I guess my advice to you is that you should read this if you love Vonnegut and are not too squeamish or "square" as they say, but it is absolutely not the first Vonnegut book I would recommend you pick up.

Cherry

Cherry by Mary Karr
2000
Weight: 12 oz
Method of Disposal: Lending Library

Coming of Age stories, like the previously written about coming out story, are hard because they are done by so many people in so many different ways.  It can feel like you have read them over and over again.  The time this is written is also important for context.  18 years ago. 

I was enjoying it but not overly blown away by it.  I totally appreciated the young narrator reveling in her sexual power, but I felt like I was watching her fall into low self-esteem, drugs, bad situations with little consequence and not a lot of insight into the reasons she was spiraling out.  We did get the impression that it was due to her parents not being overly concerned with her life, though they were there for her in very important and big ways when it counted.  Her dad is painted as having some anger issues, and her mom does at one point attempt to kill herself with both daughters begging her not to.

 It was not until the author, or maybe it was the letter at the front, someone anyway, pointed out that it was a sexual coming of age story written from a girl's perspective that I felt that old familiar rallying cry of pro-sex feminism rise up within me.  I had forgotten that we have for so long not been able to read young girl characters as sexual agents in their own story.  That we've had coming of ages stories for boys out the wazoo but not for girls.  So, I can respect it for that.  I don't know when life started ti improve enough that I forgot that, but I remember being a young girl now and hating Holden Caulfield and feeling like I could not relate to any coming of age story ever written.  Given, as a super lesbian teen, I probably would not have related so much to this one either, but I can appreciate it's importance.  I was busting with sexuality back then, but it was in a very different way, I think.

One complaint I did have was that I did not feel like there was a real ending, and I felt like the writing there was kind of rushed.  I wished for something more, but I am not sure what it was.  There was just this hippie, drug-induced, whatever whatever that ended in jail and then Mary's mom came to the rescue in a way that still made Mary feel angry and isolated.  I guess with it being a memoir, maybe that is just real life?  I don't know.

, said the shotgun to the head.

, said the shotgun to the head. by Saul Williams
2003
Weight: 8.5 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating

The look and design of this book is great.  I love that the poem has become an art form in looks and in words.  I loved this book for a long time, wooed by its good lucks.

Re-reading it now, I am less impressed.  In so many words, the book is about God being a woman and about a man being intimate with God.  I bet it makes a lot of Christians angry, which is no skin off my neck.  I just find it to be so particularly man-centric despite all the talk about SHE.  One reveiwer calls it feminsit babble.  I cannot imagine anything further from it.  As there always has been and seemingly always will be, woman is something to be ejaculated on and in even as a deity.  The penis is a gun, a weapon, a spreader of destruction.

Only a man would think of so many ways to fuck, fill up, and wallow around in God if there were one.  At once God is a woman and then later he is fucking God's wife.  I get it.  You have a powerful penis, an obsessive personality, a tendency to dream and ramble, and you feel important and disappointing all at once.  Women are better than you and pissing on them is the only way you feel like you can get close to their holiness. 

All in all, I still think it is a good poem, and the books design is great.  His subject matter is not my cup of tea, but it may be yours.  

Madonna Nudes 1979

Madonna Nudes 1979 by Martin Hugo Maximilian Screiber
1990
Weight: 1 lb
Method of Disposal: Giving Away

Another adult book!  What do I do with them all?  It is easier to love them and keep them, but I am committed to this, and I know there must be other folks out there that would love these books.  There are also people out there who would see these pictures and likely not make the connection to the fact that they are off Madonna.  The world is a-changing.

I want to make a lending library for adult books with a combination lock so the little kids cannot get in.  How would I go about this I wonder?  People will likely get mad if they find out about it and don't love it.

The Clitoral Truth

The Clitoral Truth: The Secret World at Your Fingertips by Rebecca Chalker
2000
Weight: 1.2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Giving Away

It was the time of vagina books and clitoral love, and it was wonderful.  I was a sex-obsessed teenager, which seems gross now, but was SO awesome then.  I soaked it all up, and I think that it is because of books like these, lesbianism, and good parenting on my mother's part that I grew up with a healthy, adventurous, and fairly safe outlook about sex.

This book taught me that, not only does female ejaculation exist, but it is fun and exciting.  Nothing to worry about and many people really relish the possibilities.  I learned that men and women were not born all that different, and later it was not at all challenging to understand that not just gender but sex could be fluid.

I found out about On Our Backs and was able to enjoy it for several years before it stopped being made.  I learned about how important the clitoris is.  I was having sex before I got my hands on all these vagina books, but I truly believe the sex must have improved dramatically with the more I learned. 

It is hard to know what to do with these wonderful books.  I want them to go to good use, but I am not always sure how to get them into the right hands.

Dick: A User's Guide

Dick: A User's Guide  by Dr. Michele Moore and Dr. Caroline de Costa
2003
Weight: 9.6 oz
Method of Disposal: Donating?

Just got done with my Dick book.  I was hoping to learn a lot but, for better or worse, I, apparently (somehow) knew a decent amount already.  One thing that threw me for a loop was the idea that, on average, healthy adult men have 2-5 erections in a night.  They last about 30 minutes and take up about 40% of sleep time.  Young boys of course have this happen more and are far more likely to have theirs end in ejaculation.  As men get older they decrease (pg.22).I knew that men got erect at night, and I had heard about the morning erection many times, despite the fact that I somehow missed noticing it in that year plus I use to fall asleep and wake up next to a teenage boy (for real).  I immediately called my girlfriend.  "5 times?!"  She tried not to act disturbed, "uhh, yeah, maybe.  Not Five times probably..."  I talked to friends, lesbian and heterosexual, "5 times?!"  I considered the possibilities of this.  I maybe got too enthusiastic because my girlfriend actually asked me if I needed to go experiment with a man.  Uhhh, no.  I just get excited about sex, sexuality, and, apparently, hard-ons. 

In other news, I enjoyed the discussion about water tests on condoms in the U.S. and the U.K.  The authors write, "In the United States this means that the condom must withstand one and a quarter cups of water and not leak (the amount in Britain is twelve and a half cups--we're not sure what this implies about English men)(pg70)."  Kinda hilarious.

Overall, it was a decent book, but it felt rushed and often the authors jokes fell flat with me.  Things would be tacked on at the end of certain chapters that did not seem to fit at all.  The authors were aware and noted that the book was geared to heterosexual men and women more than anything, though they mentioned that they hoped gay men would also find it beneficial.  It was fun!

Unexpected Pleasures

Unexpected Pleasures: Leaving Heterosexuality for a Lesbian Life  by Tamsin Wilton
2002
Weight: 1.2 lbs
Method of Disposal: Leaving in Decatur, GA

This book was given to me by a woman who chose to leave heterosexuality behind while in college.  She was very vocal about it being her choice, which I thought/think was/is great.  There is some discussion about sexuality as choice in this book, which makes me happy.  It is not just nature vs nurture.  In case you were wondering, I think it is nature, nurture, and/or choice that makes someone's sexuality.  I think everyone has their unique mix up.  I believe I have always felt more intimate and bonded with women and that there is, possibly, a biological, hormonal, genetic cause.  I also know that if given the choice to be heterosexual I would say hell no.  I love loving women.  And, as I got older, I realized that if I felt compelled to I could choose to have sex with men, but I also knew I would never want a relationship with one.  I have never felt a strong bond with a man, with the exception of my high school best friend, Chris, and I was never sexually attracted to him.  I also just don't think I could deal with the outcome of male socialization.  I have no interest in a power struggle or a lack of communication/emotion.  I am aware that there are millions of sensitive, caring, feminist men out there that would probably make wonderful partners, but I do not want to sift through them all when I know I prefer women up front.  I would rather try to find a wonderfully sensitive, feminist woman.  And, while I was a lesbian long before my sexual assault, I do think that being raped will forever inhibit and decrease any interest I might have in being intimate with a man. 

That being said, I am frequently attracted to women whose sexuality is less defined and more fluid.  It is an incredibly sexy quality to have.  There is a certain courage and acceptance that seems to go along with it but, more importantly, I feel like these women have less rigid rules and unfortunate judgements/stereotypes about other women (and men),as a whole.  It is unfortunate that the lesbian community can be so naively dismissive and unaccepting of women with what might seem to them to be a less clear cut, defined sexuality.  I feel like it is getting better with the younger generation, but I still see it affecting women's lives in strong ways.  I was glad that this was discussed in this book.

Unexpected Pleasures is kind of like an intro too and a self-help book for women coming out as lesbians later in life.  I wish it had been slightly more fluid, but the woman who wrote it was a researcher and so I understand she had to narrow her focus.  I would like to read a similar book that included lesbian women who have come out as heterosexual later in life and lot more women who did not identify as one way or another.  There were some components like lesbian sex being better than heterosexual sex as a whole that rubbed me the wrong way, and I had so much I wanted to put forth to argue my points.  We do not have to tear down one to enjoy another.

Overall, though, it was a good introductory, supportive, positive book, and it relied heavily on actual interviews with women, which I appreciated.  I also liked the sources offered in the back of the book. The book was written based on British women's experiences and so the sources were geared to them too, though the author had a few US sources as well.

All About Love

All About Love: New Visions  by Bell Hooks
2001
Weight: 8.8 oz
Method of Disposal: Gave to my friend, Jasmin

I decided to re-read All About Love a few months back.  Bell Hooks is a favorite, for me and many of my feminist peers, but I have not read anything of hers in years.  I will confess that when I first picked this book up, I was under impressed.  It wasn't bad, but I did not feel like I was learning anything, and I thought it was very hetrerosexual-focused.  It all seemed so basic.  My dear friend told me at the time that it would be a good thing if it was.  It was written so that people could understand it.\

I kept reading it.  I was blown away by the last half, and I never wanted to start another relationship without having the other person read it--whether that was a romantic relationship or a purely a platonic one. 

I loved that Hooks did not undermine the value of the love of a friend. 

She writes, "Most of us are raised to believe we will either find love in our first family (our family of origin) or, if not there, in the second family we are expected to form through committed romantic couplings, particularly those that lead to marriage and/or lifelong bondings.  Many of us learn as children that friendship should never be seen as just important as family ties.  However, friendship is the place where a great majority of us have our first glimpse of redemptive love and caring community(134)."

I have always been interested in the love of friends, as I have always found so much of what I need in those relationships and am always caught off-guard when a person I have just started dating cannot understand their role in my life.  I have some very intense, passionate friendships that test the boundaries I was taught about by a couple-focused/family-focused society.

I LOVED reading about community, society, and love.  I dwelled a lot on Capitalism/consumerism being anti-love after reading her section on greed.  She writes,

"Materialism creates a world of narcissism in which the focus of life is solely on acquisition and consumption.  A culture of narcissism is not a place where love can flourish (105)."

If we live in a world where people are harmed by our very purchasing of clothes (sweatshops), coffee (how much are the grower's being paid/are rainforests being cut down), our mardi gras beads (sweatshops), the soda we drink (worker's rights/labor unions), on and on, then how will we find a true way to love and connect with others?  If money and instant gratification are the goals then how will we learn the patience and dedication needed to maintain our self-care and our love of others?

Everyone I know has a lot to learn about self-love, myself included.  Hooks is being open and honest with us when she says, "One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming of receiving from others.  There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that.  Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am.  It is silly, isn't it, that I would dream of someone else offering me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself (67-68)."

She writes, "The confusion arises because most people who think they are not lovable have this perception because at some point in their lives they were socialized to see themselves as unlovable by forces outside their control.  We are not born knowing how to love anyone, either ourselves or someone else.  However, we are born able to respond to care (53)."

At the very start of the book, she talks about how it is not useful to see love as something you cannot define or describe, something that just happens to you.  You know it when you feel it and all that nonsense.  She argues that, "When we intervene on mystifying assumptions that love cannot be defined by offering workable, useful definitions, we are already creating a context where love can begin to flourish (13)."

I want love to flourish, in all avenues of my life, in my friend's lives, and in the lives of those I will never meet.

Okay, I will leave you with that.  You should read the book.

Sexscopes

Sexscopes: How to Seduce, Stimulate, and Satisfy Any Sign  by Stuart Hazleton
2001
Weight: 9 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving at Joe's in EAV

This was left behind by my ex-girlfriend (a Leo) long ago.  I (a Leo) thought I had already given it away, but it appears that I have not.  The woman I am with now is a cusp so it makes it less obvious but, according to this, if she leans towards Cancer we are set for bliss, but if she leans towards Leo we are screwed. 

I chose to lean towards bliss.

There is an inconsistency though.  If you read it from her sign it goes like this:

SEXUAL SYNERGY
Leo and Cancer: leo's sunny attitude in the sack keeps Cancer guessing, but since Leo sticks by those he or she loves the crab won't need to worry about a Sagittarian-style stray.  Cancer shows Leo love and radiates the possessive nature kitty cats desire.  Meanwhile, Leo presents Cancer with a myriad sexual situations--and positions!  Paradise found.

BUT WILL IT LAST?
Leo and Cancer: Once Cancer can get used to Leo's over-the-top attitude, all signals are definitely go in this awesome mix.  Cancer's intuition enables him or her to say all the right things to compliment proud but needy Leo, while Leo will do anything to protect the easily wounded sign of the crab.


Then, if you read it from my angle it goes like this:

SEXUAL SYNERGY
Cancer and Leo: Your odds for headboard-banging hedonism are about fifty/fifty when you pair the sign of the crab with the sign of the lion.  Leo likes Cancer's constant attention but Leo's anything-goes attitude and need to be worshipped in the sack grate on Cancer's nerves.  Probably not a good long-term option but an awesome emergency booty call.

BUT WILL IT LAST?
Both of you believe in true love but you have varied definitions on what true love means.  For Leo, love is a parade--something to be celebrated in parties and public alike.  For Cancer, romance is far more personal.  The idea of exposing their inner soul to anyone other than their mate is the anathema to the sign of the crab.  Compromise is key to making this perilous passion work.  If Leo takes two steps back while Cancer steps forward, you'll be a totally content couple.


Hmmm, well, I guess only time, not stars, will tell.


According to the front of the book, "Thank your lucky libido Sexscopes has arrived.  More fun than an inflatable doll, more titillating than a pair of tight jeans--open this book and get ready for a good time." --Matthew "Dr. Matt" Abergel, author of Work Your Stars and Gay Stars
 

Full Exposure

Full Exposure: Opening Up to Your Sexual Creativity and Erotic Expression by Susie Bright
2000
Weight: 11.2 oz
Method of Disposal: Leaving in a book box in Decatur

 

I just finished Full Exposure, and I loved it!  Thank you again, Susie Bright.  I love sex positivity and talking/reading about sex.  I particularly enjoyed her writing about jealousy.  She writes:

 

You also have to face jealousy head-on; your own baby will show you soon enough what that's all about, even if you're still in denial.  With kids, your mission is to show them that there's enough love to go around, that when you go away you will come back, and that they need to respect your privacy as well as their own.  They will get jealous when they see you paying attention to someone else.  When your infant howls or your toddler throws a fit, you'll see how natural jealousy is--but you'll also see the "natural" wisdom of separating yourself, with love, from those you love (108).

 

AND!

 

I don't believe you can purge jealousy from your soul, but you do have to put it in its place.  I get jealous as easily as I feel any of my babyish feelings, and I recognize them for that.  Sometimes I'll ask for my lover for reassurance, but often I'll tease him or make fun of myself.  I'll shout my most paranoid fantasy, because just saying it out loud makes me laugh at its absurdity: "You're leaving me for the Girl Scout Cookie Delivery Bitch!"  Being a jealous vixen is very cathartic as long as you declaw before the performance begins (109).

 

The whole book was a positive experience though, and the jealousy part was a very tiny component.  You should check it out.  See what it is about.  Let me know if you want this copy, and I can bring it to you instead of the book box!

 

The Apartheid of Sex

The Apartheid of Sex: A Manifesto on the Freedom of Gender

1995

Weight: 8 oz

Method of Disposal: Left at a Mexican Restaurant in Oakhurst GA

I am lucky to have the experiences I have.  This book would have really impressed me so much more if I had not already read so many other books putting forth similar arguments and, in many cases, the same arguments.  I am completely on board with the notion that there are a multitude of sexes and sexualities.  I do believe that both sex and gender are on a continuum and are not actually binary systems, despite what we are socialized to believe.  I am lucky because nothing in this book was new to me.  I have had the privilege of accessing this information at home, being exposed to it in school, experiencing it in real life.  It is for this reason that I found myself bored so often while reading the book.  I wanted to get wrapped up in the revolutionary tone and the strength of the author’s voice.  I wanted to feel what the reviewers felt.  I have a lot of interest in the work of Anne Fausto-Sterling and was hopeful after seeing her comments on the back of the book.  I am going to leave this book somewhere in Decatur and hope that it finds a home with an open-minded individual who has never thought about questioning the sex, gender, sexuality binaries.  Good luck little ManifestO!