Friday, July 26, 2013

Redefining Our Relationships

Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines For Responsible Open Relationships  Wendy-O Matik
Weight: 8 oz
Method of Disposal: Gave to a Friend

I just re-read this book, and I really enjoyed its simplicity and message.  Oddly, I am in the position of doing the opposite.  I have entered into a monogamous relationship and have decided that I am ready to commit to one person for the rest of my life.  While this might seem counterintuitive to this book, I am a firm believer that guidelines from the world of polyamory are useful and very needed for people whether they are in a monogamous or open relationship.  The critical insight on jealousy and communication benefit us all.  These books expound on being thankful for what you have, allowing your partner to grow as a person, realizing that you do not own someone else, examining the jealousy you will inevitably encounter and finding ways of dealing with it in a healthy manner, and loving yourself and your partner(s).  I am thankful I got the chance to read it again.  I will always be respectful, thankful to, and happy to know that there are people out there in polyamorous relationships.  I will continue to learn from them, as I do from people and books on monogamy.

I am focusing now on building trust and respect in my own relationship, remembering to always work on communication and our mutual growth, and ensuring that we focus on the things that we are lucky for and not always the things we wish we could change--like distance.  I am grateful that I have an optimistic partner that gets me on the right track when I start to stray and who is willing to hear me out when I push her to think about new ways of being and doing things. 

I gave this book to a friend who is thinking a lot about the relationship she is in.  It may not help her like it has me over the years, but it is worth a shot!


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