Thursday, August 22, 2013

Esio Trot

Esio Trot by Roald Dahl
Weight: 3. 2 oz
Method of Disposal: Recycling

I was going to read to my girlfriend because 1) She asked me to 2) Sometimes it helps people sleep 3) It gets my mind off of how far away she is from me. 

I chose Esio Trot because 1) I had never read it 2) It is incredibly short and contains lots of pictures 3) Who does not love Roal Dahl?

I was crushed when she mentioned that there was some controversy about him.  Was it that he was a Nazi?  or something?

I did a less than satisfactory Google search, which made me very uncomfortable.  According to Wikipedia, He said,  "I am not anti-Semitic. I am anti-Israel." And I was like...okay...okay...that is NOT the same thing, but then it was followed by,  "There’s a trait in the Jewish character that does provoke animosity ... I mean there is always a reason why anti-anything crops up anywhere; even a stinker like Hitler didn’t just pick on them for no reason." And, I was more like What. The. Fuck? 

Is it true?  How did I go this long without knowing?

I did read the book.  It was about a man living a story above a woman he is "in love" with despite never really having a conversation with her.  One day she says that she would "be a slave" to anyone who could make her pet turtle bigger.  He thought her being his slave sounded like the most amazing thing ever.  He came up with a plan.  He stole her pet and later gave it away to a pet store.  He replaces it with larger and larger turtles.  He insulted her intelligence, which works in Dahl world.  He told her to speak language backwards to the tortoise and to tell it things like eat and gulp.  She believed his words were magical and, when he asked her to marry him, she said yes.  He hid his deception by turning over 100 turtles over to pet shops around England.  They lived happily ever after.

And I do not need to Google that.  There is no reason for a kid in this day and age to be filling their brain with that bullshit.

Side Note: There is a strange little author's note at the beginning about the cruelty of shipping turtles from Africa to England and how it has since been banned in England simply because it is cruel.  I like that part okay...

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